• Random jokes
  • There was a man getting on my flight, he only had one arm, just one... I'm watching him get on the plane, and all I could think was 'Please let me sit next to him.' And I did. Wrong side. Believe me when I tell you, he fought for the arm rest.
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    Miscellaneous
    Travel & Car

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  • Why is the position 69 like driving car in a rush hour traffic? Cause asshole is always in front of you.
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    dirty

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  • Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
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    Chuck Norris

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  • How can yo tell if a black has been on you're computer? It's not there...
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    black people
    computer
    racist

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  • The best jokes voted by users
  • Chuck Norris can put out a fire using nothing but gasoline.
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    Chuck Norris

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  • Two rednecks walk down a dirt path. One man has a big sack over his shoulder. The other man asks what's in the sack.The first man says, "I got me some chickens for dinner tonight."The other man asks how many chickens are in the sack."Well, I'll tell you," replies the first redneck, "If you can guess how many chickens I got in this here sack, I'll give them both to you."
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    Animal
    Blue Collar
    Miscellaneous

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  • Q: What do you call a guy with a blue penis?A: A tight-fisted wanker.
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    Dirty
    Men/Women
    Nationality
    News & Politics
    Miscellaneous

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  • Bill has worked in a pickle factory for several years. One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill vows to overcome this rash desire on his own. A few weeks later, Bill returns home absolutely ashen. His wife asks, "What's wrong, Bill?" "Do you remember how I told you about my tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" His wife gasps, "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh, um, she got fired, too."
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    doctor
    god
    marriage
    wife
    work

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  • Put strobe headlights in my car to make the deer run slower.
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    Animal
    Blue Collar
    Miscellaneous
    Travel & Car

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  • A guy goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his penis. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that. "Three reasons: I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and a hundred dollars seems to be the only thing my wife will blow these days."
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    marriage

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  • Q: What do a penis and a Rubik's Cubes have in common? A: The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
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    dirty
    game
    masturbation

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  • Son: "Daddy; why some of your hairs have turned white?" Father: "Every lie told by you makes one of my hairs white." Son: "Oh now I understood why all grandfathers' hairs are white."
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    age
    communication
    dad
    family
    kids

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  • It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
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    marriage

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  • I haven't seen you run that fast since Twinkies went on sale.
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    Insults
    Miscellaneous

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