• The best jokes voted by users
  • Q: What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common? A: You can't f**k with either one.
  • More jokes about ...
    Animal
    Dirty
    Men/Women
    Miscellaneous
    Sports & Athletes
    Gross

  •   

  • Peanut: A giraffe throwing up? Think about it. It would take forever!
  • More jokes about ...
    Animal
    Miscellaneous
    Gross

  •   

  • I just read about this terrible thing that goes on in parts of the world, parts of west Africa and parts of the Middle East. A woman turns of age -- as a ritual, they cut off her clitoris: genital mutilation. This is awful. I heard about this, I thought, 'Oh my God, no matter how much I complain about our country, I should be thankful this will never be a ritual here 'cause the men here don't know where the clitoris is.'
  • More jokes about ...
    Dark Humor
    Men/Women
    Nationality
    News & Politics
    Police & Military
    Miscellaneous

  •   

  • A man, his wife and a good-looking stranger are stranded on a desert island. The wife quickly loses interest in her husband and begins flirting with the good-looking stranger. The three start to build a watchtower. The stranger offers to take first watch. While the husband and wife gather driftwood on the sand, the stranger yells, "Hey! No sex on the beach! Get back to work!" The husband yells back, "We're not having sex!" Later, the stranger yells out to them again. Again, the husband yells back and corrects him. This happens several times during the stranger's shift. Finally, the husband's takes his shift in the watch tower. His wife and the good-looking stranger make passionate love on the beach. The husband on watch exclaims, "Wow, it really does look like f**king from up here!"
  • More jokes about ...
    desert island
    flirt
    husband
    marriage
    wife

  •   

  • A man, a woman, and a great survivor are trapped on an island. The survivor finds a bunch of coconuts. The man thinks to himself, "What if there are other people on the island? Then we won't be stranded!" He throws coconuts at nearby ships, and the island was populated. Everybody looks at him cross. Then they kick him off the island.
  • More jokes about ...
    desert island
    mean
    men
    travel
    women

  •   

  • Two liars were talking together: First: "My father built 1550 miles of 101 freeway in west of US lonely in one night." Second: "That is nothing but I've been born from my mother's ass." First: "It's impossible. I do'nt believe you." Second: "Shut up. I've believed your 1550 miles distance but why you don't believe my only 4 inches length?"
  • More jokes about ...
    birthday
    dirty
    vulgar
    work

  •   

  • Yo' Mama is so flat, pirates can't wait to get their hands her a sunken chest.
  • More jokes about ...
    pirate
    Yo mama

  •   

  • When they get you, they have their own little signature, like Gucci or something like that. When you walk down the street, girls will walk by, and they'll say, "Oh, that's Gladys' work, ain't it?"
  • More jokes about ...
    marriage
    work

  •   

  • The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church. During mass, he asked the congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?  All the men stood up. 'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?'  All the women stood up.  'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn' t belong to them?'  Half the women stood up.  'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?'  Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up. The priest fainted.
  • More jokes about ...
    animal
    church
    priest
    sex
    time

  •   

  • Birdie, birdie, in the skyDropped some white stuff in my eye,I'm a big girl, I won't cry,I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
  • More jokes about ...
    Animal
    Miscellaneous
    Gross

  •