• The best jokes voted by users
  • One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard. The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate. "Hello Johnny, what are you up to?" he asked. "My goldfish died and I'm gonna bury him," Johnny replied. "That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" asked the neighbor. "That's because he's inside your cat!"
  • More jokes about ...
    animal
    death
    little Johnny

  •   

  • When they get you, they have their own little signature, like Gucci or something like that. When you walk down the street, girls will walk by, and they'll say, "Oh, that's Gladys' work, ain't it?"
  • More jokes about ...
    marriage
    work

  •   

  • The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church. During mass, he asked the congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?  All the men stood up. 'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?'  All the women stood up.  'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn' t belong to them?'  Half the women stood up.  'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?'  Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up. The priest fainted.
  • More jokes about ...
    animal
    church
    priest
    sex
    time

  •   

  • Q: What does an elephant use as tampon?A: A sheep.
  • More jokes about ...
    Animal
    Miscellaneous
    Gross

  •   

  • Yo' Mama is so flat, pirates can't wait to get their hands her a sunken chest.
  • More jokes about ...
    pirate
    Yo mama

  •   

  • A farmer and a son live on a farm. The farmer is sitting in the kitchen when his son comes in from the barn with a large glass of white liquid. He is so excited because he's just milked a cow. Then he takes a big drink from the glass. His father just stares at him."Son, we don't have a cow. We have a bull."
  • More jokes about ...
    Animal
    Blue Collar
    Miscellaneous
    Gross

  •