All the jokes -

Jokes about: Animal

  • Why did the chicken cross the road?
  • To have hot sex with the perverted farmer.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Miscellaneous

  • Three Dumb Hunters
  • So he goes out and comes back half a day later all beaten, bruised, bloody, and totally trashed. The other two hunters ask him what happened and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get hit by train!"

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Ba Ba Black Sheep
  • "Baaaaa..."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Miscellaneous

  • What drug was the duck on...
  • Qwack!

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Redneck Booty Call... Dog
  • Mind if my hunting dog watches?

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Football Fan To The Rescue
  • The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes,  "Little Redneck Maniac Kills Beloved Family Pet".

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Insults, Miscellaneous

  • Hillbilly Chicks and Bears
  • Q: What do hillbilly chicks and polar bears have in common?

    A: They both lick their paws.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Redneck Booty Call... Hog
  • Care to worm my hog?

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blonde, Blue Collar, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Two brunettes and a blonde...
  • And the blonde replies, "Well, I jumped in head first."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • My First Sexual Experience
  • And Trevor replies, “Oh, you and your stupid radio.”

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Busy Redneck
  • Q: What do you call a redneck with a pig under one arm and a sheep under the other?

    A: Bisexual.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Miscellaneous

  • Cow or Tractor
  • If a farmer was only able to choose between buying a cow or a tractor, what should he pick. On one hand, he would look funny riding on a cow. On the other hand, he would look funnier trying to milk a tractor.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Miscellaneous

  • For my next trick...
  • A: It drove down the lane and turned into a field.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Traveling Salesman in West Virginia
  • "Naaaaaaaaaaaah!"

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Miscellaneous

  • Cow Pat Lip Gloss
  • "Nope, but it keeps me from lickinem."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Miscellaneous

  • Sheepish
  • A pimp!

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Safe Sex for Rednecks
  • A. They mark the sheep that kick!

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Mole Removal
  • Did you hear about the redneck who went to the hospital to have a mole removed from his d*ck?

    He swore off sex with them creatures forever.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Cross the Road, Miscellaneous

  • Cross the Road... Little Cow
  • Q: Why did the calf cross the road?

    A: To get to the udder side.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Cross the Road, Miscellaneous

  • Cross the Road... Monkey
  • Q: Why did the monkey cross the road?

    A: So he could get spanked.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Cross the Road, Miscellaneous

  • Cross the Road... Forgetful Chicken
  • Q: Why did the forgetful chicken cross the road?

    A: To get to the other side -- er, no -- to go shopping -- no, not that either -- damn it.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dark Humor, Miscellaneous

  • Towards and Away
  • A fisherman and his wife had twin sons named Towards and Away.

    Once the boys were grown, the fisherman took them out to sea to learn the family fishing trade.

    A week later, the mother saw her husband dock the boat all alone.

    "Oh no! What has happ

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dark Humor, Police & Military, Miscellaneous

  • Brian Kiley: Shot an Elk
  • I went hunting for the first time. I shot an elk. I felt really bad at first, but the guy was wearing a plaid leisure suit.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dark Humor, Miscellaneous

  • Tom Cotter: Favorite Possessions
  • In her will, my grandmother stipulated that she wanted to be buried with all of her favorite possessions. Her cat was not happy about that decision.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Clown Booty Call... Poodles
  • Can my dancing poodles watch? Honk honk!

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Basketball Chicken
  • A: He heard the ref was blowing fowls.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Another Bull Name
  • A: Beef Strokinoff.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • The Answer
  • A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Pirate Booty Call... Parrot
  • Is it okay if my parrot watches? Yar!

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Dinosaur Booty Call... Name
  • Curious to see why they call me a "please-you-a-saur?"

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Moosehead Beer
  • A. By the antler marks on his thighs!

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Man Catches Crocodile
  • So the crocodile bit his legs off.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Jumping Rope
  • "Well," says the girl, "untie the knot and give me some more rope."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Elephant Encounter
  • A: Apologize and wipe it off.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Green and Jumpy
  • A prostitoad.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Pit Bull with Herpes
  • A: The guy who gave it to him.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women

  • Porcupine Love
  • A: "Ouch."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Give the Dog a Bone
  • A: Tickle his balls.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Duck at the Pharmacy
  • The duck replies, "What kind of duck do you think I am?"

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Rocky Mountain Oysters
  • The bull must have drug him a mile!

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Of Mice and Men
  • What do mice and men have in common?
    They both run around hunting for holes!

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Bird of Peace, Bird of Love
  • A: The swallow.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Police & Military, Miscellaneous

  • The 12 Days of Christmas
  • Cordially, Law Offices of Badger, Bender andChole

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Perverted Parrot
  • Q: What does a perverted parrot say?

    A: Polly want a rim job.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, News & Politics, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • George of the Jungle
  • "What did you do that?" she exclaimed.
    He replied, "Gotta check for squirrels."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Pervert Crossing the Road
  • A: His d**k was stuck in the chicken.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Faking It
  • A: When a Rottweiler is humping your leg.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Sad Rooster
  • A: He only got laid once, and it was by his mother.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Food, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Donkey-Onion Hybrid
  • A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Elephant & Prostitute
  • A: A two-ton pick-up.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Food, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Panda Booty Call... Eat
  • You eat bamboo, right?

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Condom Dog
  • The guy replies, "I taught my dog to swallow them, and now he s**ts in little plastic baggies!"

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Dinosaur Booty Call... Ass
  • Hatchling, you put the "ass" in Jurassic.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Panda Booty Call... Aphrodisiac
  • Forget rhino horn. The most powerful Chinese aphrodisiac is panda bone. And I got your stash right here.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Crazy Little Critters
  • A: On crutches.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Doctor, Kids, Miscellaneous

  • Ode to a Glowworm
  • When the sun shines out of your bum!

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    Jokes about: Animal, Doctor, Miscellaneous

  • The Dead Dog
  • He said '$15 for me to say he was dead. Then $285 for the cat scan'

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    Jokes about: Animal, Doctor, Miscellaneous

  • Cat Hospital
  • A: To have a CAT scan done.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Doctor, Miscellaneous

  • The Scientist and the Frog
  • So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "Frog with no feet, goes deaf."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Bird It Through the Grapevine
  • He contracted chirpes. And the worst thing? It was untweetable.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Doctor, Money, Miscellaneous

  • Jimmy Shubert: Neutering
  • I love the people that care more about neutering stray cats than they care about homeless American veterans... What they should be doing is neutering the homeless American veteran because they are much easier to catch.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Doctor, Kids, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Whitney Cummings: Babies and Dogs
  • I feel like having a baby and having a dog are pretty much the same except for the part where your vagina gets ruined.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Doctor, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Gynecologist and a Dog
  • Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?

    A: Wet noses.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Doctor, Miscellaneous

  • Carrots
  • A: Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?

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    Jokes about: Animal, Food, Miscellaneous

  • Rooster and Lollipop
  • Q. What do you get when you cross a rooster and a lollipop?

    A: A c**ksucker.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Food, Miscellaneous

  • Ants Dancing
  • A: The lid said, "Twist to open."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Food, Miscellaneous

  • Animal Rotation
  • A: A rotisserie chicken.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Food, Miscellaneous

  • Beer Nuts vs. Deer Nuts
  • A: Beer nuts are $1.39, and deer nuts are under a buck.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Food, Miscellaneous

  • Sheik That Rooster
  • A Rolls Royce pulls up in to an expensive restaurant. A sheik emerges, followed by a harem of women and a rooster. After ordering for himself and his harem, the sheik requests a basket of apples for the rooster.

    The rooster proceeds to eats three baske

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    Jokes about: Animal, Food, Miscellaneous

  • Peanut Butter Rooster
  • A: A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

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    Jokes about: Animal, God, Miscellaneous

  • The Funky Parrot
  • The parrot looked around and asked, "Why not? These are the same muthafukkahs that was at the club last night!"

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    Jokes about: God, Animal

  • Thank The lord!
  • There was a guy in the middle of the desert and his car broke down. He started walking and he came to a monastery, where he asked them if he could borrow a mule. The monks lent him one, and they explained that you had to say “Thank the Lord!” to

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    Jokes about: Animal, God, Miscellaneous

  • Religious Nuts

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    Jokes about: Animal, God, Miscellaneous

  • Dyslexic Agnostic Insomniac
  • He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

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    Jokes about: Animal, God, Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • What do you get when you cross a Scottish...
  • The Dolly Llama.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Lab Monkeys
  • What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys?

    Rhesus Pieces.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Spider Diet
  • Burgers and flies.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, School, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Well Endowed and On the Prowl
  • "Moo."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Tarzan Sees Elephants
  • Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?

    A: Gulp.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Turtle Soup
  • "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"

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    Jokes about: Animal, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Sheng Wang: Central Park Carriage Rides
  • Few things make your park experience more romantic than returning to a simpler time when people were totally cool with the smell of horsesh*t wafting by.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • What is red and green?
  • What is red and green and goes 100 miles an hour?
    A frog in a blender

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • There she blows
  • A: Lots of room.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Kurt Metzger: The Only Animals in All of Nature
  • You know, human beings are the only animal in all of nature that sometimes shoves other animals up their ass.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Rejected Greeting Card -- Sorry
  • I heard my tire thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked at my tire I discovered your cat. Sorry...

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Dog Abilities
  • A: Same reason.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Kids, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Werewolf
  • "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."

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    Jokes about: Animal, School, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Dan Devido: Fraternity Fish
  • I was gonna join this fraternity, but they make you do crazy stunts, so I had to swallow five live goldfish to join -- and I tried. I swallowed two, and I felt so guilty that I swallowed a pound of pebbles and a little filter and a little man in a scuba s

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Bear & Toilet
  • A: Winnie the Pooh.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Legless Cow
  • A: Ground beef.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Shih-Tzu + Poodle
  • A: A Shih-Tzpoo

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Day Owl and The Night Cat
  • The cat replies, "He is here!' and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Elephant Tampon
  • A: A sheep.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blonde, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • So Blonde... Thesaurus
  • She is so blonde, she thinks a thesaurus is a dinosaur.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blonde, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • One-Eyed Blonde
  • The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, "Where?"

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    Jokes about: Animal, Insults, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Pig in a Bar
  • A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?"

    Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose."

    And the bartender says, 'Excuse me, I was talking to

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    Jokes about: Animal, Kids, Miscellaneous

  • Blossom & Porky
  • The little girl answered, "Because he f**ks pigs."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Kids, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Lego my Legolas
  • A: Elf-elf-a

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    Jokes about: Animal, Kids, Miscellaneous

  • Birdman
  • Mother: "We need the eggs."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Kids, Miscellaneous

  • Kangaroo Sleepovers
  • A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Kids, School, Miscellaneous

  • First Day of School
  • A: Bison

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    Jokes about: Animal, Kids, Miscellaneous

  • Marsupial Moms
  • Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate it when it rains?

    A: Because the kids have to play inside.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Two Dogs Humping
  • The son says, "It figures -- every time you try to help someone out, you always get screwed."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Kids, Miscellaneous

  • Fish Brains
  • A: "Dam."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Kids, Miscellaneous

  • Catching Rabbits
  • A: Tame way.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Kids, Miscellaneous

  • What do you call an elephant...
  • A: Stuck

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    Jokes about: Animal, Kids, Miscellaneous

  • What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo
  • A pouch potato.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Kids, Miscellaneous

  • Inky Pig
  • Because it came out of the pen.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Kids, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Technology-Enabled Amoebas

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    Jokes about: Animal, Lawyer, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Lawyer vs. Vulture
  • A: Wings.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Lawyer, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Roosters vs. Lawyers
  • The rooster clucks defiance.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Lawyer, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Shark Attack
  • Professional courtesy.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Lawyer, Miscellaneous, Work

  • The Brass Rat
  • "Nope," said the man. "You have any brass lawyers?"

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    Jokes about: Animal, Lawyer, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Lion, Tiger, Lawyer, Elevator
  • Q: You are stuck in an elevator with a tiger, a lion and a lawyer. You have a gun with just two bullets in it. What do you do?
    A: Shoot the lawyer twice to make sure he's dead.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Octopus Love
  • A: "I want to hold your hand. Er, hands."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blonde, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Blonde in Disguise
  • "Hey lady," says the shepherd. "If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"

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    Jokes about: Animal, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Pig!
  • They each continue on their way, as the man rounds the next corner he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blonde, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • The Blonde Fox
  • She chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blonde, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Blonde & Goldfish
  • A blonde bought some goldfish, but she did not know how to feed them. She called her brunette friend for help. Once they were done feeding them, the blonde said, 'Now, what do I give them to drink?'

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blonde, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Fly Away
  • A: A space invader.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Male Bashing
  • A: Whistle through his pecker.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Hedgehog, Giraffe, Dental Hygeine
  • Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedghog?
    A: A six-foot toothbrush.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Dog Crossing
  • A: He saw some dog food.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Dog & Elephant
  • A: A very nervous postman.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Chicken in the Dirt
  • A: A dirty double-crosser.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Blind Dinosaur
  • A: Do-you-think-he-saur-us.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Kangaroo & Calendar
  • A: A leap year.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Gorilla and Computer
  • Q: What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a computer?

    A: Hairy Reasoner.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Dog Dancer
  • A: They have two left feet.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Dog Days
  • A: A golden receiver.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • Chicken Chat
  • A: He was studying foreign languages.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Bald Fleas
  • A: Homeless.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Kangaphant
  • What do you get when you cross an elephant and kangaroo together?
    Giant holes all over Africa!

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Cow Fun
  • A: The daily moos.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Hurt Bee Back
  • A: He fell off his honey.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Fleas
  • A: "Shall we walk or take a dog?"

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Elephants, Beavers & the Jungle
  • A: Because they go in the jungle after 5 p.m

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Ducks & Elephants
  • A: To put out burning ducks.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Dog Balls
  • A: Sparky.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • How to Catch an Elephant
  • As the title suggests, this is how to successfully catch an elephant:
    First, you need to dig a hole in the ground that is capable of holding an elephant.
    Fill the hole with ashes.
    Line the hole with peas.
    And when your elephant comes to take a pe

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Charging Elephant
  • A: Take away his credit card.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Chicken on the Field
  • A: Because the umpire called a foul.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Money, Miscellaneous

  • Broken Cage
  • A: "Cheap, cheap!"

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Bovine Hijinx
  • A: They go to the moo-vies!

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    Jokes about: Animal, Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • The Aging Explorer
  • The old explorer said, "No, not then -- just now when I went ''ROARRRR!''"

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Cricket
  • A: A bloody big cricket.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • The Fish-Eating Competition
  • So they had the final; the Mayor fired the starting pistol and they started eating the tench. No sooner had Mr. Hicks bitten the fish than one of his teeth fell out. He couldn't eat because of this so he stopped, but the Mayor refused to stop the compet

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Doggone It
  • A: Ruff!

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Knock, Knock... Cows Go
  • No, silly. Cows go, "Moo."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Bear & Deer
  • A: Beer.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • The Ant
  • A. Because he was pissed off!

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Cow Abortion
  • A: De-calf-i-nated.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous

  • Donkeys at Christmas
  • A: Mule-tide greetings.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • Tatonka
  • "Ground sticky."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • Bee Pee
  • A: At the BP station.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Nationality, Miscellaneous

  • Why Do Scotsmen Wear Kilts?
  • A: Because the sound of zippers scare the sheep away.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • Two Of These Things Belong Together
  • The whale -- the other two are both crustaceans.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • Leek Limerick
  • There was a man from Leek
    Who instead of a nose had a beak.
    It grew quite absurd, till he looked like a bird
    He migrates at the end of next week.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • Scott LaRose: Angry T. Rexes
  • The T. Rexes were all angry. You know why? Because these huge muscular creatures with these big muscular legs and these tiny little hands! How would you feel, 60 million years never being able to masturbate? That is the real reason dinosaurs are extinct r

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Pick-up Line...Squirrels
  • If you and I were squirrels, I could bust a nut in your hole.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous, Walks into a Bar

  • Walks Into a Bar... Dog Day Afternoon
  • A guy walks into a bar and orders six shooters. The bartender says, "Looks like you are having a bad day."

    The guy says, "Am I ever! I woke up late for work. On my way to work, I got in an accident. When I got to work, I was four hours late, so the bos

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    Jokes about: Animal, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous, Walks into a Bar

  • Walks Into a Bar... Seeing-Eye Dog
  • A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing-eye dog. He stands in the center of the bar, takes the dog by the chain, and starts swinging him above his head.

    Everyone stops and stares. Upset about the way the animal is being treated, a patron runs up t

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    Jokes about: Animal, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Shoulda Said
  • "Geez. Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"

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    Jokes about: Animal, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Man & Duck
  • The duck replies, "Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • A Bear Walks Into a Bar...
  • The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?"

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    Jokes about: Animal, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Termite Fun. Yep, Termite Fun.
  • Where is the bar tender?

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    Jokes about: Animal, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Stumpy Legged Pink Dog
  • The owner says, “Until I cut his tail off and painted it pink it was the same breed as every other alligator.”

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Monkey Booty Call... Spank
  • How about we spank each other and call ourselves even?

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Yeti Booty Call... Sherpas
  • Want to see why the Sherpas call me the Abdominal Showman?

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dark Humor, Police & Military, Miscellaneous

  • Two-Legged Bleeder
  • Q: What has two legs and bleeds?

    A: Half a cat.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Wizard of Toad
  • "Just follow the yellow d**k toad."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Turkey Rhythm
  • A: He had his own drumsticks.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Toilet Humor
  • One pussy and 1000 hares.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Blind Skydivers
  • A: It scares the crap out of their seeing-eye dogs.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • An elderly lady phoned her telephone company
  • Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing andmoaning.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Mathematical Cows
  • Q: How do cows do mathematics?

    A: They use a cow-culator.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Rooster and a Telephone Pole
  • Q: What do you get when you mix a rooster with a telephone pole?

    A: A 30-foot cock that helps you reach out and touch someone.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous, Walks into a Bar

  • Walks Into a Bar... Got Grapes?
  • A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"

    The bartender, confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves.

    The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Got any grapes?"

    Again, the bartender tells him, "No -- the bar does not ser

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