Best Athlete funny jokes

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  • An elderly patient needs a heart transplant and discusses his options with his doctor.
    The doctor says, ‘We have three possible donors.
    One is a young, healthy athlete.
    The second is a middleaged businessman who never drank or smoked, and the third is an attorney who just died after practising law for 30 years.’
    ‘I’ll take the lawyer’s heart,’ says the patient.
    ‘Why?’ asks the doctor.
    The patient replies, ‘It’s never been used.’
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    athlete
    business
    lawyer

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  • Who was the fastest runner?
    Adam.
    He was first in the human race.
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    athlete
    life

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  • Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music?
    Matthew: Why?
    Peter: Because he broke the record!
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    athlete
    music
    sport

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  • Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race.
    One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds."
    The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record."
    So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
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    athlete
    time

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  • Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
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    animal
    athlete

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  • Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards?
    A: She wanted to gain weight!
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    athlete
    blonde
    fat
    stupid

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  • You're not alone.
    Sometimes, even Usain Bolt feels like he's running in circles.
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    athlete

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  • So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
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    athlete
    friendship
    sport

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  • Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
    A: Mistle-toes!
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    athlete
    Christmas
    elf

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  • Why did the bald man take up running?
    To get some fresh 'air.
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    athlete

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