All the jokes - athlete

  • An elderly patient needs a heart transplant and discusses his options with his doctor.
    The doctor says, ‘We have three possible donors.
    One is a young, healthy athlete.
    The second is a middleaged businessman who never drank or smoked, and the third is an attorney who just died after practising law for 30 years.’
    ‘I’ll take the lawyer’s heart,’ says the patient.
    ‘Why?’ asks the doctor.
    The patient replies, ‘It’s never been used.’

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  • Who was the fastest runner?
    Adam.
    He was first in the human race.

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  • Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music?
    Matthew: Why?
    Peter: Because he broke the record!

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  • Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race.
    One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds."
    The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record."
    So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."

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  • Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.

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  • Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards?
    A: She wanted to gain weight!

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  • You're not alone.
    Sometimes, even Usain Bolt feels like he's running in circles.

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  • So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

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  • Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
    A: Mistle-toes!

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  • Why did the bald man take up running?
    To get some fresh 'air.

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