Best Bible funny jokes

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  • Recently, I've been using the Bible for support.
    I've got a wobbly coffee table.

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  • Q: What was the world's first palindrome?
    A: Madam, I'm Adam.

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  • Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
    A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.

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  • Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve?
    A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.

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  • A man and wife were having argument about who should make the pot of tea in the morning.
    The wife told him that he should do it because he gets up first.
    The husband said that she was in charge of the cooking in the house, making it her job.
    The wife said that even the bible says that the man should do it.
    The husband told her to show him and if it did he would make it.
    She fetched the bible and opened up the new testament, showing him at the top of several pages that said "Hebrews".

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  • "And so, God came forth and proclaimed widescreen is the best"
    Sony 16:9

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  • “I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older.
    Then it dawned on me . . . they’re cramming for their final exam.”

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  • Q: Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible?
    A: He thought he saw a job.

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  • Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. Sally was sleeping in front of johnny.
    The teacher asked Sally who our Lord and savior was.
    Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a pin and she screamed "Jesus Christ!"
    And fell back to sleep.
    A little while later the teacher asked Sally who created our world.
    Johnny poked her in the butt again and Sally screamed "oh my god!"
    And fell back to sleep.
    Later the teacher asked Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fifth child.
    Johnny poked her in the butt and Sally screamed "if you stick that thing in me one more time I'm gonna break it!"

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  • Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing?
    A: He only had two worms.

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