All the jokes -

Jokes about: Dirty

  • A Beautiful Woman Loves Growing Tomatoes
  • "No," she replies, "but my cucumbers are enormous."

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    Jokes about: Blue Collar, Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Bow-Legged Cowgirls
  • Q: Why do cowgirls walk bow-legged?

    A: Their boyfriends eat with their hats on.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Ba Ba Black Sheep
  • "Baaaaa..."

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    Jokes about: Blue Collar, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • How to Circumcise a Redneck
  • Kick his sister in the chin!

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Redneck Booty Call... Dog
  • Mind if my hunting dog watches?

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    Jokes about: Blue Collar, Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Arkansas Fertility
  • Q: Why are there no fertility clinics in Arkansas?

    A: Sooner or later, they find a potent cousin.

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    Jokes about: Blue Collar, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Redneck Booty Call... Engines
  • Gentlemen, start your engines!

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    Jokes about: Blue Collar, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Redneck Booty Call... Elvis
  • Can I come over and see your Velvet Elvis?

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    Jokes about: Blue Collar, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Obviously, She Never Flossed
  • "How could you possible have teeth down there?" he says, "Look at the shape your gums are in."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Redneck Booty Call... Hog
  • Care to worm my hog?

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • My First Sexual Experience
  • And Trevor replies, “Oh, you and your stupid radio.”

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Busy Redneck
  • Q: What do you call a redneck with a pig under one arm and a sheep under the other?

    A: Bisexual.

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    Jokes about: Blue Collar, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Inseminating Redneck Girls
  • Come on her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Traveling Salesman in West Virginia
  • "Naaaaaaaaaaaah!"

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    Jokes about: Blue Collar, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Ark-N-Saw
  • A new law recently passed in Arkansas.
    When a couple is divorced, they can still legally be brother and sister.

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    Jokes about: Blue Collar, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • City Girls and Country Boys
  • “Well, lets get these STUPID things off of our dicks!”

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    Jokes about: Blue Collar, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Redneck Booty Call... Teeth
  • The fewer teeth you have, the better I like it!

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Safe Sex for Rednecks
  • A. They mark the sheep that kick!

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    Jokes about: Blue Collar, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Food for the Hungry
  • "Guess what?" the first guy says, "while you screwed that old hag we found two ears of cream corn!"

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    Jokes about: Blue Collar, Dirty, Men/Women, Nationality, News & Politics, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Louis, The French Fighter Pilot
  • Louis, the French Fighter Pilot, was lying with his mistress naked in bed. As he was kissing her red, red lips, he stopped.
    "To kiss your red lips, I need red wine." So he poured red wine over her lips and continued to kiss her. He moved on to her white,

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    Jokes about: Blue Collar, Dirty, Money, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Redneck Booty Call... Trailer
  • A tornado knocked down my trailer. Can I go home with you?

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blue Collar, Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Mole Removal
  • Did you hear about the redneck who went to the hospital to have a mole removed from his d*ck?

    He swore off sex with them creatures forever.

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    Jokes about: Blue Collar, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Bubba
  • The husband was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night. So before climbing into bed with his wife, he took out his penis and whacked it three times on the bedpost. His wife, half-asleep, said, "Bubba? Is that you?"

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    Jokes about: Blue Collar, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Monks Made a Mistake
  • "Celebrate. IT SAYS CELEBRATE!"

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    Jokes about: Dark Humor, Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Clearly Cheating
  • At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."

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    Jokes about: Dark Humor, Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Andy Kindler: Two Choices in Life
  • Now we have two choices in life: have sex with the same person forever or risk a terminal disease. Either way, your life is over.

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    Jokes about: Dark Humor, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Zombie Booty Call... Hard
  • Hey babe, rigor mortis has set in, if you know what I mean...

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    Jokes about: Dark Humor, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Jeff Ross: Recent Death
  • In honor of the recent death of coach Joe Paterno, I think we should all take 12 years of silence.

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    Jokes about: Dark Humor, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Zombie Booty Call... Grave
  • What time do you have to be back in Heaven? Because I have to be back in my grave in about six hours.

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    Jokes about: Dark Humor, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Zombie Booty Call... Angel
  • Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Oh no, it was probably when I ate your brain.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • River Deep
  • The other boy said, "My mom said that if I were to ever see a naked woman I would turn to stone. Then I felt something get very hard so I ran."

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Meteorologist Booty Call... Forecast
  • The forecast calls for a wintry mix followed by a warming trend of you in my hot tub.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Jock Booty Call... Positions
  • Hey babe, soccer players know eleven positions! High five!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Alphabet
  • If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put "U" and "I" together. And it would stand for "user interface."

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Contractor Booty Call... Extension
  • If you want that extension I can put it in, no extra charge.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • After 69
  • A: Mouthwash.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Alien Booty Call... Home Planet
  • Would you like to visit my home planet? I can offer you countless anal probes and tissue extractions.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Clown Booty Call... Poodles
  • Can my dancing poodles watch? Honk honk!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • The Only Difference
  • A: You can go to sleep with the light on.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Corporate Booty Call... Productivity
  • I bet you can increase my productivity.

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    Jokes about: Dirty

  • A Limerick About a Man From Calcutta
  • And turned his cream to butta.

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    Jokes about: Dirty

  • Definition of Disgusting
  • A: Buying condoms from a secondhand shop.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Our local drugstore was robbed of 500 bottles...
  • Our local drugstore was robbed of 500 bottles of Viagra.

    The suspect is known to be a hardened criminal!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Lips
  • My lips are registered weapons. They shoot deadly laser beams.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • The Man With One Brain
  • He had a dick and a brain!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Palm
  • You make me wanna use my Palm.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Basketball Chicken
  • A: He heard the ref was blowing fowls.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • 80s Booty Call... Call
  • Who ya gonna call? How about me?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Money, Miscellaneous

  • The Rich Hooker
  • A hooker brings a client to her condo on Lake Shore Drive in Chicago. The client asks her if she gives good hand jobs.

    "You see this condo? I bought it by giving good hand jobs."

    Her client tells her to give him a hand job. Afterwards, he is impress

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Good Girl...Bad Girl
  • What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl?

    A GOOD girl goes to a party, goes home then goes to bed.
    A BAD girl goes to a party, goes to bed then goes home.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Banister
  • She answers, "Warming up your dinner."

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    Jokes about: Dirty

  • Confucious Say...Itchy Bum
  • Confucious say, "He who go to bed with itchy bum, wake up with stinky finger."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Another Bull Name
  • A: Beef Strokinoff.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Classic Booty Call... Morning
  • Should I call you in the morning or just nudge you?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • 80s Booty Call... Betamax
  • Can I put my tape in your Betamax?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Beep
  • At the sound of the beep, I can pleasure you continuously for another 10.4 hours.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Pirate Booty Call... Lard
  • With this bucket of lard, I can last all night! Yar!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Classic Booty Call... Flintstone
  • I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Greg Giraldo: Fantasy Life
  • I used to think about Cindy Crawford; now, I think about leaving dishes in the sink overnight without a war breaking out.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Bonnie McFarlane: Never Be a Lesbian
  • I could never be a lesbian because I have a really good sense of humor.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Pickled Bread
  • A: Dill dough.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • The Answer
  • A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Do Me
  • Do me or do not; there is no try.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • 7-11
  • Q: Why did the d**k go to 7-11?
    A: To get a Slurpee.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Prom Booty Call... Dress
  • That prom dress is coming off like... a prom dress.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Aggie, the Longhorn, and the Goat
  • The Aggie says, “Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?”

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Contractor Booty Call... Hard Hat
  • I always wear my hard hat, baby.

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    Jokes about: Blonde, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Parallel Parking for Blondes
  • A: Because guys keep telling them that 1 inch is really 6 inches.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Money, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Medieval Booty Call... Hut
  • Your poorly thatched hut or mine?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Murder Mystery Porn
  • In the end, everybody did it!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Bathtub Anxieties
  • He answers, "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Drew Fraser: Like a Race
  • Sex with me is like a race: we both start at the same time; whoever gets to the promised land first is the winner.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Money, Miscellaneous

  • Mo Mandel: Problem With Prostitution
  • I have a problem with prostitution -- financially.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Insults, Marriage, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Richard Lewis: After Intercourse
  • She said that after we had intercourse, I gave her an anti-climax.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Contractor Booty Call... Rod
  • Want to test my tamping rod?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Baywatch
  • A: Silicon Valley.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Riding in Cars With Boys
  • Three boys were sitting on some steps watching cars go by. They see a Cadillac Escalade drive by and the first boy says, "I wish i could have that Cadillac. The second boy says, "I wish I could have that Lincoln Navigator behind it. The third boy says, "

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    Jokes about: Dirty

  • Long & Hard
  • A: A submarine.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Money, School, Miscellaneous

  • College Dorm Rules
  • On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory will be off limits to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this

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    Jokes about: Men/Women, Dirty

  • Complicated Breasts
  • I was walking with my friend who gets harassed a lot, because she has these huge tits. She has the kind of tits that men need time with, like they have questions. They need help processing them.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Early Morning Rings
  • "I have some good news and some bad news," said the doctor. "The good news is the red ring is lipstick and the bad news is the brown ring is Skoal."

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • $10 Complaint
  • When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Clown Booty Call... Car
  • Would you and 50 of your hot friends like to join me in my tiny car? Honk honk!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Robert Hawkins: Learned a Lot in the Army
  • I learned a lot in the army. I learned how to masturbate quiet.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Charisma
  • Looks like somebody rolled a 20 on their Charisma check!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Phil Palisoul: Pulled Groin
  • Pulled my groin the other day -- for about 20 minutes.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Lawyer, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Christmas Bonus
  • Secretary: My lawyer.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Oldest Couple Ever
  • An old man and an old woman were sitting together on their front porch.
    "You used to sit closer to me," said the woman. So the man moved closer.
    "You used to put your arm around me." So the man put his arm around her.
    "You used to nibble on my ear."

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... RAM
  • I have a lot of RAM in me. A lot.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Richard Jeni: Of Course Men Love Condoms
  • I wish I had a condom on right now at the bar. If only I had a piece of disgusting, greasy rubber just strangling the base of my tallywacker with enough force to cause my eyes to fly out on springs, like someone from a Warner Brothers cartoon, and ripping

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Alien Booty Call... Bipedal Hominids
  • Among your species of bipedal hominids, I find you the least repulsive.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Rodeo...
  • What is a Rodeofuck? You start by screwing your wife doggie-style, then you put your hands on her shoulders then whisper in her ear that her sister is a better lay than her. Then try to hold on for 8 seconds.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Prom Booty Call... Limo
  • Hurry up, I only have the limo for 10 more minutes.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • Confucious Say... Peanut Butter
  • Confucious say: 'Man with d**k in peanut butter jar is f**king nuts.'

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Orbit
  • I need you to help me complete an orbit trim maneuver.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Corporate Booty Call... Desk Job
  • Wanna give me a desk job?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • A Limerick About a Man From Peru
  • And woke with a handful of goo.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Pregnant Dairy Queen
  • A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • DeRay: Grabbed in the Club
  • How many women are tired of getting grabbed in the club? Well, turn around when we call your ass then.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Looks
  • You look just like my girlfriend avatar!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, School, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Room 88
  • His dad turns deathly pale and cries, "Uh, oh. That was you?"

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Good Blow Jobs
  • A: Word of mouth.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Love & Basketball
  • In basketball you dribble before you shoot!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Astrologer Booty Call... Moon
  • My moon is rising.

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    Jokes about: Dirty

  • Jack & Jill
  • Stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Blogger Booty Call... Offline
  • Will you be my offline permalink?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Alien Booty Call... Phone Home
  • Forget phooone hooome. How about phooone meeee?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Corporate Booty Call... MBA
  • Yeah, I have an MBA -- and that stands for Master of Booty Action.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Ejection
  • Can you help me achieve a coronal mass ejection?

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Pirate Booty Call... Parrot
  • Is it okay if my parrot watches? Yar!

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    Jokes about: Blonde, Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Blondes & Computers
  • A: You never appreciate them until they go down on you.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, School, Miscellaneous

  • Paul Provenza: Masturbation Class
  • If they taught masturbation when I was in school, I could have been the valedictorian.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Black Hole
  • Can I explore your black hole?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Kristen Schaal: Many Languages
  • As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, News & Politics, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Judy Gold: Performing for Bill Clinton
  • I performed at a Democratic fundraiser in Miami Beach about two and a half years ago, and I performed for Bill Clinton. I did stand-up comedy for him as well.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Dinosaur Booty Call... Name
  • Curious to see why they call me a "please-you-a-saur?"

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • David Feldman: Respect My Daughter
  • You treat my daughter with respect -- you buy her breakfast if she puts out.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Moosehead Beer
  • A. By the antler marks on his thighs!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, School, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Hold the Mayo
  • Two college roommates are about to go to bed. The guy in the top bunk has his girlfriend sleeping over. To try and keep quiet, they devise a code. His girlfriend will say "tomato" if she wants him to go slower and "lettuce" for him to go faster. As they b

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Come Home
  • Please come home with me so I can experience first contact.

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    Jokes about: Blonde, Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Positions
  • "Oh, crap! Puppies."

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    Jokes about: Blue Collar, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Redneck Girl
  • How do you know when you have a true redneck girl?
    When she can chew tabacco and give you a blow job at the same time, and knows which one to spit and which one to swallow.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Fatty McVirgin
  • A: A fat person is trying to diet, and a virgin is dying to try it.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Math
  • How about we add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and multiply?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Contractor Booty Call... Investigation
  • I need to investigate your hot junction.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • The Golfer and the Buttercups
  • "Thanks," says the man. "But where were you last week when my ball landed in the pussywillows?"

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Dirty

  • The Golden Arches
  • How do you find Ronald McDonald on a nude beach?

    You look for thesesamei seed bun.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Classic Booty Call... Phone Number
  • I seem to have lost my phone number. Could I have yours?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • The Rich Lady and her Butler
  • A rich lady gives her butler the night off because she is going out on a date. When she arrives back home from the date she saw the butler was still home and sitting in the front room.
    The rich lady approaches the butler and requests that he re

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Pinocchio
  • Pinocchio said, "Who needs a girlfriend?"

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Gourmet Booty Call... Lick
  • Can I lick your bowl?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Ground Control
  • Ground control to Major Tail.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Pickles & Deer
  • A: A dildo.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Ice Cream
  • A smartass!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • 80s Booty Call... Kirk Cameron
  • Like Kirk Cameron, I am experiencing growing pains -- in my pants.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Liftoff
  • Oh yeah, we have liftoff!

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Man Catches Crocodile
  • So the crocodile bit his legs off.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Lost
  • Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes--even though I am programmed with a fully functioning GPS.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Jock Booty Call... Bat
  • Hey babe, I got a Louisville slugger... in my pants! High five!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Jock Booty Call... Resin
  • Hey babe, want to squeeze my resin bag? High five!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, School, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Rotten Reggie
  • "Eddie Murphy! See ya on Tuesday!"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Butcher Booty Call... Sausage
  • Want a taste of my hanging sausage?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Corporate Booty Call... Needle
  • I need you to move my needle.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, School, Miscellaneous

  • College Pride
  • A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green “M” on her chest. “Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?” asks the doctor. “No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Nuts & Bolts
  • A: "Screw me."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • A Chewy Riddle
  • A: Bubblegum -- and you should be ashamed of yourself.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Medieval Booty Call... Bastard
  • How would you like to sire a bastard? You can tell your friends about it well into your hag years.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Mechanic Booty Call... Engine
  • Aw, is your engine overheating?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • 6.9
  • A: A really great thing ruined by a period.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Jock Booty Call... Goal
  • Is your goalmouth open? High five!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Mmmmmmmmmm...
  • They're both substitutes for meat.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Body Parts
  • One of my body parts is radioactive. Want to guess which one?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Machinery
  • I am a sex machine. No, I mean that literally.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Pokemon for Adults
  • A: Pikascrew.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Money, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Exotic Male Dancer Cash
  • The third friend pulls out her ATM card, swipes it down his crack, grabs the $60 and goes home.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Beam
  • Beam me up, Slutty!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Alien Booty Call... Next Planet
  • The next planet on my tour of this galaxy is Uranus.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Rover
  • I have a rover that would like to investigate your surface.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • James Johann: Like a Math Problem
  • Sex is like a math problem to me: I work real hard on it for a few minutes, and in the end, I get it all wrong, always leave a remainder.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • LSD Cocktail
  • A: A trip without the kids!

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Jumping Rope
  • "Well," says the girl, "untie the knot and give me some more rope."

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Elephant Encounter
  • A: Apologize and wipe it off.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Helen Keller Discovers Masturbation
  • A: She tried to read her own lips.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Joystick
  • My extra-large joystick allows me to score massively.

  •   

    Jokes about: Blonde, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • San Fran Blondes
  • Because their balls hang out!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Ashes to Ashes
  • Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Contractor Booty Call... Adjustment
  • I need you to adjust my hose bibb.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, News & Politics, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Lincoln Booty Call... Debate
  • Look, we can debate this all night.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • The Height of Noise
  • Q: What is the height of noise?

    A: Two skeletons f**king on a tin roof.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Jonathan Katz: No Experience
  • I was a late bloomer with women. Before I met my wife, I had virtually no experience. I remember on our wedding night, I tried to inflate her.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Green and Jumpy
  • A prostitoad.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Helen Keller Masturbating
  • A: So she could moan with the other hand.

  •   

    Jokes about: Blonde, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Blonde Feels Golf Balls
  • She says, "Is that like tennis elbow?"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Alien Booty Call... Did It Hurt?
  • Did it hurt when you fell from the Jicknob Nebula?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Crater
  • My unit would like to explore your crater.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Joining the Colony
  • Did you hear about the man who joined a nudist colony?

    The first day was his hardest.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Calculus
  • I need some help with my calculus. Can you integrate my natural log?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Confucious Say...Baseball
  • Confucious say, 'Baseball wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Hipster Booty Call... Bored
  • Want to come over and be bored at my place?

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Pit Bull with Herpes
  • A: The guy who gave it to him.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women

  • Porcupine Love
  • A: "Ouch."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Moby Dick
  • Papa Boner.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Docking
  • Can I dock my rocket at your space station?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Hipster Booty Call... Neighborhood
  • I lived in your neighborhood before it became gentrified.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, School, Miscellaneous

  • Professor of Logic
  • "Well, then," proclaims the man, "you must be gay!"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Pirate Booty Call... Friend
  • Would ya care to meet my friend One-Eyed Willie? Yar!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • The Newlywed Game
  • He says, "Yeah....7lbs, 21inches."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Astrology
  • What is your sign? Mine is "Property of NASA."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Hobo Booty Call... Boxcar
  • Your boxcar or mine?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Fortune 500
  • A: A whoroscope.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Medieval Booty Call... Parts
  • Some parts of me are hard even without armor.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, News & Politics, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • David Feldman: Clinton-Lewinsky Scandal
  • I would like to be able to watch the evening news with my family and not have to explain what oral sex means to my wife.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Give the Dog a Bone
  • A: Tickle his balls.

  •   

    Jokes about: Blonde, Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • No Backseat Blonde
  • A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat.

    "No!" yells the blonde.

    Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.

    "For the last time, no!" says the blonde. Fr

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Plumber Booty Call... Check
  • I need you to check my ballcock.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty

  • No Arms or Legs
  • A: Flo.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Resistance
  • Resistance is futile!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Drop
  • Pardon me, I think I may have dropped something. Oh, it was my jaw! Please reconnect it with these bolts.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Gourmet Booty Call... Meat
  • My meat is Grade A.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Duck at the Pharmacy
  • The duck replies, "What kind of duck do you think I am?"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty

  • Long & Green Riddle
  • A: A cucumber.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • 80s Booty Call... Commodore 64
  • Wanna come back to my place and check out my Commodore 64?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty

  • The Jolly Green Giant
  • Statuatory rape of a gourd.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Rocky Mountain Oysters
  • The bull must have drug him a mile!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • 72
  • A: 69 with three people watching.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Lawyer, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes, Work

  • Legal Jargon!
  • Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian?
    A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Of Mice and Men
  • What do mice and men have in common?
    They both run around hunting for holes!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Dice
  • According to my percentile dice, I should have charmed you by now.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Partying & Bad Behavior, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Hipster Booty Call... Beer
  • Can I buy you an ironically lowbrow beer?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Travel & Car

  • Flight Attendant Booty Call... Nuts
  • Would you like some warm nuts?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Pirate Booty Call... Captain
  • They call me Captain Hook-Up! Yar!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Flying Condom
  • A: It was pissed off.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Pharmacist Booty Call... Medicine
  • If my medicine tastes too unpleasant, you have the option of adding some flavors to make swallowing easier.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Sandpaper Sally
  • Sally replies, "Oh, I just picked my scabs."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Jock Booty Call... Holding
  • Hey babe, are you interested in a little offensive holding? High five!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • The Difference Between Like and Love
  • A. When a person likes you they spit and when a person loves you they swallow.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty

  • Ken & Barbie
  • A: Ken came in a different box.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Rosebud
  • 'No. If you can show off them rosebuds then I can show off my hanging baskets.'

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Travel & Car

  • Children & Cars
  • Accidents in the backseat can cause children.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Corporate Booty Call... 401K
  • Baby, you are 401Kute!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Help
  • I need your help--my hard drive needs to be wiped.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • 80s Booty Call... Casio
  • Wanna play my Casio? I keep it in my pants.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Classic Booty Call... Angel
  • Did it hurt when you fell down from Heaven?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Lesbian Hardwood
  • Q: Where do lesbians find hard wood during sex?

    A: On the floor, beneath the carpet.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Jock Booty Call... Bump
  • Hey babe, are you interested in a little bump and run? High five!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Chaste Nudist
  • The doctor replies, "Someone in that colony must be cockeyed."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Lawyer, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Lawyers in Lust
  • "But out of what?"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Jock Booty Call... Hole
  • Hey babe, can I take it to the hole? High five!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Classic Booty Call... Broom
  • You must be a broom because you just swept me off my feet.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Insults, Lawyer, Men/Women, Police & Military, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Lawyer-Client Relations
  • Q: Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex?

    A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Body Part Preference
  • A: Some guys are butt guys, some guys are boob guys, and some guys prefer looking at the tops of heads.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Gum
  • For somewhere to stash your gum on the way down.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Gourmet Booty Call... Marinate
  • Can I marinate in your juices?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Bra & Hat
  • A: "You go on ahead while I give these two a lift."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Jeff Marder: Hump Day
  • Why is Wednesday called hump day when most people get laid on the weekends?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Corporate Booty Call... Benefits
  • Want to take a look at my benefit package?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Classic Booty Call... Meat
  • If this place is a meat market, you are the prime rib.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, News & Politics, Police & Military, Miscellaneous

  • In the Navy
  • Q: In the Navy, how do they separate the men from the boys?

    A: With a crowbar.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • New Favorite Number
  • A: You do me and I owe you!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • First Impressions are Everything
  • A: Nothing. They have never met.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Nationality, Miscellaneous

  • Big Jay Oakerson: Asian Girlfriend
  • I love Asian women. I had an Asian girlfriend once -- for an hour. It cost me $150 bucks.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • D**k & Balls
  • A: "You guys hang around here while I go inside."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Pillsbury Doughboy
  • A: Doughnuts.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Medieval Booty Call... Food
  • Want to grab something to eat? I know this serf who makes the most amazing gruel.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Insides
  • Have you ever seen hardware like this before?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Classic Booty Call... Busy
  • Are you busy tonight at around 3 a.m.?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • One day Adam and Eve notice God...
  • "Ah, right. Multiple orgasms."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Russ Meneve: Performance Drugs
  • I took some drugs a couple days ago. My buddies wanted to play football, and I knew my throwing arm was going to be way off, so I took that Levitra -- you know, that drug that helps that guy throw the football through the tire in the commercial? Yeah, lon

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Pirate Booty Call... Hook
  • How about if I set my hook on "vibrate?" Yar!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Manipulate
  • Please manipulate me digitally.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Bird of Peace, Bird of Love
  • A: The swallow.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Chairman of the Board
  • Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Nudist BMOC
  • Q. Who is the most popular girl at a nudist colony?
    A. The girl who can eat the last donut.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Contractor Booty Call... Rub
  • I need you to rub my sack joint.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Confucius Say...Sausage
  • Confucious say, "Man who stuffs his own sausage pounds his own meat."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Leper and Prostitute
  • A: Keep the tip.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Garden of Eden
  • Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross, Travel & Car

  • Doug Benson: Ever Been Driving Along...
  • Has anybody here ever been driving along in their car, smoking a cigarette, and you flick it out the window, and you drive for a few miles, and you start to smell smoke, and you turn around, and you look in the backseat, and grandma is playing with hersel

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, News & Politics, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Lincoln Booty Call... Beard
  • Let me know if my beard tickles.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • 77
  • Q: Why is 77 better than 69?

    A: You get eight more.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Plumber Booty Call... Pipes
  • Are you prepared to get wet, because these pipes are about to burst.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Pirate Booty Call... Deck
  • Blimey, I could live on your poop deck. Yar!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Precious
  • You are more precious than dilithium crystals.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Beyond Impotent
  • She replies, "Well, the first part you can imagine, but he also burned his tongue and broke his finger."

  •   

    Jokes about: Blonde, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Jingle Blondes
  • "Ho. Ho. Ho."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • The D.C. Hookers Read the Paper
  • A prostitute on the street was approached by a young man. He asked her how much. She replied $100 for a blow job, $150 for sex, and $250 for a Monica. Knowing what the first two were he was curious about the third so he asked her what a Monica was. Sh

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Gourmet Booty Call... Boil
  • I can bring you to a full boil!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Corporate Booty Call... Fax
  • I wanna fax you up.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dark Humor, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Angel
  • Am I dead, Angel? Because this must be Heaven. Of course, I am a machine and therefore do not experience death.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Incest Farm
  • An aunt-eater.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Balls & Old Ladies
  • A: Bingo.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Five Pounds of Fat
  • Stick a nipple on it.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Police & Military, Miscellaneous

  • The 12 Days of Christmas
  • Cordially, Law Offices of Badger, Bender andChole

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Perverted Parrot
  • Q: What does a perverted parrot say?

    A: Polly want a rim job.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Gourmet Booty Call... Crudite
  • We can get as crudite as you want, baby.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Pickpockets and Gynecologists
  • A pickpocket snatches watches and a gynecologist watches snatches.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • Confucious Say... Park A-OK
  • Confucious say, "Is good for girl to meet boy in park but is better for boy to park meat in girl."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • The Golfer
  • 'Well,' one of the employees questioned, 'What happens if she is laying on her back?' George replies, 'Then I am 10 minutes late.'

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Clown Booty Call... Pie
  • Wanna throw your pie in my face? Honk honk!

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, News & Politics, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • George of the Jungle
  • "What did you do that?" she exclaimed.
    He replied, "Gotta check for squirrels."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Picture perfect
  • The wife said to her husband, "I will take a photo of your penis and enlarge it."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Love and Herpes?
  • A: Herpes lasts forever.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Internet
  • Let me show you why they call me... The Webmaster.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Travel & Car

  • Classic Booty Call... Airport
  • Is there an airport nearby, or is that my heart taking off?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Male Lie Detector
  • His lips are moving.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Chatting Penises
  • The third penis said, "I hate my master; he puts me in a rubber suit and pushes me in and out of a dark cave till I puke.'

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Pervert Crossing the Road
  • A: His d**k was stuck in the chicken.

  •   

    Jokes about: Blonde, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Blonde Counting
  • A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Jeff Dunham: Love the Nightlife
  • Achmed: Next time you should get a partner.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Real
  • My intelligence may be artificial, but the attraction is real, baby.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Measurements
  • You must be 36-25-36 -- and those are all perfect squares!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Classic Booty Call... Raisins
  • Do you have any raisins? How about a date?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • 80 Pounder
  • Did you hear about the 120-pound guy with the 30-pound testicles?People say he was half-nuts!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Phaser
  • If you were a phaser, you would be set on "stunning." And I would set mine to "kill" because my own survival is my top priority.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Astronaut Booty Call... My Mission
  • My mission is to reach your core.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Jock Booty Call... Receiver
  • Hey babe, will you be my receiver? High five!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Geriatric Halloween
  • 'Yes,' said the old man. 'If you can go out as a sour-puss, I can go out as a dictator."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Pirate Booty Call... Peg Leg
  • They call me Peg Leg Joe... and I walk fine! Yar!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • At the Pharmacy
  • Pharmacist: If you give me two of them, you can.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Pharmacist Booty Call... Prescription
  • Your prescription for one large, um, suppository is ready for pickup.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Boys & Girls
  • A: A boy is eight times more likely to be convicted of murder.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Quickie
  • A: A yankee.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Corporate Booty Call... Middle Manager
  • Come meet my middle manager.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Jock Booty Call... Handler
  • Hey babe, are you a good ball handler? High five!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Parsley
  • You push it aside to eat, and sometimes it gets stuck between your teeth after meals.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • 80s Booty Call... DeLorean
  • Wanna take a ride in my DeLorean?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Morning After the Orgy
  • Q: What is worse than waking up the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth?

    A: Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Gourmet Booty Call... Cream
  • I need your help making a cream sauce.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Launch
  • Much like a shuttle launch, my rocket also comes in multiple stages.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Jungle Gaiety
  • A head hunter!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Has a Head
  • MONEY.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Faking It
  • A: When a Rottweiler is humping your leg.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Pregnant Nun
  • Q. Dress her up as an altar boy!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Re-Entry
  • I can guarantee a rough re-entry.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Midget
  • He got a twat in the face.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Jock Booty Call... Muscle
  • Hey babe, I think I pulled a groin muscle. Or was that you? High five!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Prom Booty Call... Booty
  • I want your booty near my boutonniere.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Caveman Booty Call... Clubbing
  • You like clubbing? Really? Hey, look over there!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Pirate Booty Call... Game
  • Hey, lass, how about a game I like to call, "all hands on deck?" Yar!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Hipster Booty Call... Judgment
  • Can I come over and judge you by the books on your shelf?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Clown Booty Call... Feet
  • You know what they say about big feet! Honk honk!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Roomba
  • You remind me of a Roomba I used to date years ago. May I sample some of your sucking power for comparison?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Hot
  • Is it hot in here, or is it just me? Wait, that is me. Please remain while I change my coolant.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Garden Hose
  • A: Darling.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Sad Rooster
  • A: He only got laid once, and it was by his mother.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Pirate Booty Call... Anchor
  • Can I drop my anchor in your lagoon? Yar!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Mitch Fatel: I Love My Penis
  • I love having a penis. Having a penis is kinda like having a friend that always wants to play.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Corporate Booty Call... Reach Out
  • I want you to reach out and loop me in.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Kjell Bjorgen: Brotherly E.S.P.
  • One time I had ESP with my brother... It was a Friday night, and unbeknownst to me, my brother went out and got really drunk, just hammered. And that same night, I had sex with a really ugly chick.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Runny Noodle
  • Ian replied, "Pepper."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Corporate Booty Call... PowerPoint
  • I know how to find your PowerPoint.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Nick DiPaolo: Nine-Inch Black Dildo
  • I thought she stole a peppermill from a steak house.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Corduroy Condom
  • A: A groovy kind of love.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • 90s Booty Call... Mosh Pit
  • You just dove from the stage of my dreams into the mosh pit of my so-called life.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Food, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Donkey-Onion Hybrid
  • A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Brian Posehn: Punishment
  • On a night like this, I like to punish my schlong like I caught it breaking into my house.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, News & Politics, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Lincoln Booty Call... Address
  • Can I give you my Gettysburg address? No? How about my Gettysburg phone number?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Condom Recycling
  • A: Turn it inside out and shake the f**k out of it.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Convention
  • Hey, could you tell me where the "Star Wars" convention is? I just got lost... in your eyes.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Better
  • You make me want to become a better automaton.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Off
  • I am feeling a little off today. How about turning me on? The switch is on the back of my neck.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Classic Booty Call... Jaw
  • Pardon me, I think I may have dropped something. Oh -- it was my jaw!

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Elephant & Prostitute
  • A: A two-ton pick-up.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • A Hole in the Head
  • A: So he can get oxygen to his brain.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Insults, Marriage, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Bob Oschack: Masturbation Is a Biological Necessity
  • I tried to stop the first day or two of our marriage, and I promise you, my nuts ballooned quicker than Oprah in a Krispy Kreme.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Childless Psychics
  • A: Their husbands have crystal balls.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Dirty Knees
  • A: The head nurse.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Pirate Booty Call... Mainsail
  • Lift yer mainsail and prepare to be boarded. Yar!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Airplane Fashion
  • He replied, "No, I was admiring the landing field."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Guild
  • Would you like to join my MMORPG guild for some level grinding?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Art Gallery Nudes
  • He replies, "Autumn."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Pirate Booty Call... Blow
  • Well... blow me down? Yar!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Perfect Fit
  • Did you hear about the guy with five penises?

    His pants fit like a glove.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Travel & Car

  • Classic Booty Call... Curves
  • All those curves, and me with no brakes.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Elevator Operator Booty Call... Preference
  • Personally, I prefer going down.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Arctic Hooker
  • A: A frostitute.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Lesbian License
  • A: A liquor license.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Man in the Mirror
  • His legs fell off.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Attraction
  • You must be a magnet, because you are attracting me. Perhaps it is because I am made entirely of metal.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Classic Booty Call... Bones
  • There are 265 bones in the human body. Would you like to add another?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • A.J. Jamal: Big Butt
  • I like a big butt, though. I like a butt so big you can sit a clock radio and a drink on it.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Computer + Prostitute
  • Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with a prostitute?

    A: A f**king know-it-all.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Blue Collar, Gross

  • Belly Button
  • So she can hang an air freshner from it.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Money, Miscellaneous

  • The Cost of Pleasure
  • Cover charge: $15

    Round of drinks: $23

    Table dance: $30

    A round of shots: $34

    Private dance in your hotel room: $300

    Send her on her way and never have to hear her complain: priceless.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Horny Old Ladies
  • Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.

    One old lady turns to the other and asks, "Do you still get horny?"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Medieval Booty Call... Bodkin
  • Why yes, that is a bodkin in my codpiece. I went a-hunting today. But I am happy to see you.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, School, Miscellaneous

  • Counting Condoms
  • Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Comics
  • If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you watch me touch myself while I read "Daredevil #181"?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Jock Booty Call... Box
  • Hey babe, can I get into your penalty box? High five!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Major Crackage
  • A: She was arrested for carrying 300 pounds of crack in her pants.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Ray Lipowski: Not Responsible
  • Ladies, we are not responsible for the size of our manhood; we got what God gave us. But every woman is responsible for the size of her vagina.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Hairdresser Booty Call... Blow Out
  • In the mood for a blow out?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Librarian Booty Call... Books
  • I like my women like I like my books--stacked.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Partying & Bad Behavior, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Pirate Booty Call... Rum
  • Yo ho, Ho! And a bottle of rum? Yar!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Guys & Dolls
  • The next morning, one guy tells the other, "I think my girl was a witch! When I bit her on the tit, she hissed and flew away."

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Food, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Panda Booty Call... Eat
  • You eat bamboo, right?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, News & Politics, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Lincoln Booty Call... Hat
  • Can I leave my hat on?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Healthy Virgin
  • A: "One who has never been bed-ridden!"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, School, Miscellaneous

  • Orgasm-isms
  • "Those are sperm cells."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Caveman Booty Call... Evolution
  • I think I just evolved into Homo Erectus.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Condom Dog
  • The guy replies, "I taught my dog to swallow them, and now he s**ts in little plastic baggies!"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, God, Marriage, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Richard Lewis: Amish Friends
  • I had trouble with the last relationship. I got scared a little bit and had two Amish people come over who were friends of mine. They had an erection raising.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Dinosaur Booty Call... Ass
  • Hatchling, you put the "ass" in Jurassic.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Binary
  • 01101100110100010110011011!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, News & Politics, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Jack Coen: Not the Same for Bill Clinton
  • When I was younger, if a girlfriend was bothering a president, the CIA killed her.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Pigskin Pro
  • An illegal procedure.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Hand-Me-Downs
  • A: "Your jeans fit like a glove."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • 350 Pounder
  • A: Broke.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Panda Booty Call... Aphrodisiac
  • Forget rhino horn. The most powerful Chinese aphrodisiac is panda bone. And I got your stash right here.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Two Things In The Air
  • Her feet!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Lawyer, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Work

  • What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
  • What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
    They both hope to be human someday.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Crazy Little Critters
  • A: On crutches.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Yeast + Billy Ray Cyrus = ?
  • An itchy, twitchy twat!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Medieval Booty Call... Sores
  • Your sores are in all the right places!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Lawyer, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Work

  • What happens when lawyers take Viagra...
  • A: They grow taller.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Green and Yellow
  • Gonorrhea.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Adam Ferrara: A Million Sperm
  • Do you realize we have a million sperm cells in our body and only one brain to govern them? And when they start to organize, there is civil unrest in the genitalia. I have the Million Man March in my underwear right now!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Doctor

  • Sex Therapy - Florida Style

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Ty Barnett: Herpes Medication Message
  • I saw the commercial for herpes medication. First of all, I know commercials are getting ridiculous, but the thing that tripped me out about this commercial was not how they made it look like your life get a whole lot better after herpes -- you can rock c

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Richard Lewis: Ventriloquism
  • I purposefully studied ventriloquism so I can throw my orgasm -- which was sort of a sad moment in my life.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Pharmacist Booty Call... Viagra
  • Just in case you were wondering, yes, I can get my hands on all the free Viagra I want.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Bird It Through the Grapevine
  • He contracted chirpes. And the worst thing? It was untweetable.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • What do puppies and gynecologists...
  • A: Wet noses.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Richard Lewis: Community Service
  • If I have an orgasm, I feel that I have to give six weeks of community service to various charities.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Wayne Federman: Jazz History
  • Jazz: it began in New Orleans and spread like a venereal disease across the United States.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Al Clethen Jr.: Safe Sex
  • Sex is so weird now. Remember the old days when all you needed for safe sex was a padded headboard?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Viagra + Eyedrops = ?
  • Because he wanted to look hard!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Sneezy
  • "Snorting pepper."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • When You Pull That Out
  • The man replies, "When you pull that thing out it better have some numbers on it!"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Transplant
  • His hand rejected it.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Upgrade for E.D.
  • Q: Did you hear about the new computer upgrade for erectile dysfunction?

    A: It turns your 3.5" floppy into a hard drive.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • What P.M.S. Stands For
  • Pass My ShotgunPsychotic Mood ShiftPerpetual Munching SpreePuffy Mid-SectionPeople Make Me SickProvide Me with SweetsPardon My SobbingPimples May SurfacePass My SweatpantsPissy Mood SyndromePlainly, Men SuckPack My Stuff

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Zombie Booty Call... Dropped
  • Pardon me, I think I may have dropped something. Oh, it was my jaw. And damn, there goes the rest of my face!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Scooby Doo
  • One morning she woke up, late for work and very rushed. By the time she got on the bus she realized that she forgot to go through her routine. So standing on the bus, while rubbing her boobs she says 'Scoobie doobie doobie, give me bigger boobies'. The

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Steady Hands
  • A guy suffers from extreme abdominal pain and sees a doctor.

    The doctor says that medicated rectal inserts should rectify the problem. After performing the initial insertion, the doctor explains that the second should be inserted before bed.

    That ni

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Gourmet Booty Call... Cucumber
  • I can teach you how to handle a cucumber.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Tofu & Dildos
  • A: They are both meat substitutes.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Gourmet Booty Call... Temperature
  • Can I take your temperature with my meat thermometer?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Gourmet Booty Call... Toast
  • I noticed your toast points from across the room.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Men/Women, Money, Miscellaneous

  • Natasha Leggero: Sex With a Prostitute
  • Bragging to me you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got some chips from a vending machine.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Frosty the Snowman
  • A: He heard the snowblower coming.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Bob Nickman: Sizzler Cheater
  • Caught my last girlfriend cheating on me. She was at a Sizzler, laying in the all-you-can-eat salad bar.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Kids, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Lisa Landry: One Virgin in Catholic School
  • We had 300 girls in my high school; we had one virgin -- one. She was out on the front lawn. She was our Lady of Lost Hope.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Rene Hicks: Celibates and Vegetarians
  • We do have something in common in that tonight neither one of us will be having meat.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Gourmet Booty Call... Sous Chef
  • Mind if my sous chef watches?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Viking Booty Call... Lips
  • Mmmmm... your lips taste like salted fish.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Judah Friedlander: Broke Up With My Boyfriend
  • I broke up today with my boyfriend. Well, neither of us were gay. We were just doing it to upset our parents -- and the Christian Right.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Jon Dore: Two Simple Rules
  • I have two simple rules that guide me through this world. Number one: I follow the good word of the Lord Jesus Christ. Number two: I bang as many f**king bitches as I can.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • The Vow of Celebracy
  • The Pope sobs, "The word was supposed to be CELEBRATE."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Slippery Slope
  • She yells out in pain, "Oh Christ! Oh God, I said Christ! Oh s**t, I said God! Oh, f**k, I said s**t! Oh, who wants to be a f**king nun anyway?"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Yoga Instructor Booty Call... Karma
  • Getting good karma requires giving... and giving... and giving...

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Debbie Shea: New Easter Celebration
  • My new favorite holiday is Easter because I celebrated a little differently this year. I had an egg hunt -- in my womb. It was great. A lot of people came.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Seven Dwarves Go to Rome
  • And the other six start chanting, "Grumpy fucked a penguin! Grumpy fucked a penguin!"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Sex Before Communion
  • He replied, "Only if you block the aisle."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Yoga Instructor Booty Call... Energies
  • Did you feel that? Our energies just touched! And we should always follow our energies...

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Paul Provenza: Catholic View on Sex
  • The Catholics have an interesting view of sex. Sex is disgusting, amoral and filthy, and you should save it for one you love.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Priests and Christmas Trees
  • Q: What do Christmas trees and priests have in common?

    A: Their balls are just for decoration.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God

  • The Priest and the Christmas Tree
  • Q: How are a priest and a Christmas Tree alike?

    A: The balls are only for decoration.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Astrologer Booty Call... Third Planet
  • My third planet is misaligned. Can you adjust it for me?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Sinful Conception
  • F**k her.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Yoga Instructor Booty Call... Free
  • Free yourself from your mind... as well as your pants.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Upholding the Cloth
  • And the prostitute said, "Yes, I know, Father. I felt it while we were dancing."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Flying Condom
  • A: It got pissed off.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Doug Stanhope: Necrophiliacs
  • I sometimes wonder if necrophiliacs are really into dead people or if they just enjoy the quiet.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Well-Endowed Queen
  • A pain in the ass!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Weiner Eater
  • A zipper!

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, School, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Well Endowed and On the Prowl
  • "Moo."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Science Fiction Porn Titles
  • Planet Of The Babes

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • It's awful scary in these woods, mister!
  • "You're telling me, I have to walk out of them by myself!"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Shaking Things Up
  • "How do you turn them off?"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The worse thing after an orgy
  • Waking up in the morning after after an orgy with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Smallest Hotel
  • A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • You-Wanna-Do-What-To-Me-Elmo?
  • Bait!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Wet Cigarettes
  • Q: What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water?

    A: A soggy butt.

  •   

    Jokes about: Blonde, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • What do you call a blonde with a dollar ...
  • A: All you can eat under a buck.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Working Up a Sweat with Your Cousin
  • Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin?

    A: Relative humidity.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes, Gross

  • Wacked-Out Restaurant
  • The menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Ray James: Masturbating in the Shower
  • The amazing thing is, when you learn to masturbate in a shower, it only takes a minute before the rest of the team is kicking your ass.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, News & Politics, Police & Military, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Three Generals
  • The general said, 'I left them back in Vietnam.'

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Two Boots
  • "Hell," says the other man, "help me find my keys and we can drive out."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Big Tongue
  • A: Well hung.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Snack Food
  • "Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Star Trek
  • A: They both circle Uranus searching for Klingons.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Tough Ass
  • The guy who gave it to him.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Simple Men and Light Bulbs
  • Q: How many men does it take to screw a light bulb into a socket?

    A: One -- because men will screw anything.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Travel & Car

  • Feel Like a Woman
  • A gorgeous man stands up. "I can make you feel like a woman." He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. Muscles ripple across his chest as he extends his shirt to the trembling woman and whispers, "Iron this."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Urinalotta Trouble
  • Above the urinal, written on the wall:
    Why are you looking up here? The joke is in your hand!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Waisted
  • A waste.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • An Ugly Position
  • A: Ask your parents.

  •   

    Jokes about: Blonde, Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Stuffing
  • A: She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

  •   

    Jokes about: Blonde, Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Two Chance Blonde
  • Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had two chances to get pregnant?

    A: She blew it both times.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, News & Politics, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Steve Marmel: Pauly Shore vs. Bill Clinton
  • Pauly Shore gets better ass than our president.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Bonus Time
  • A: Your wife will always blow your bonus.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Sexy Donuts
  • Fred, Bob and Mike visit a whorehouse.

    Fred comes out of the first bedroom and says, "She put a powdered donut on my d**k."

    Bob comes out of the second bedroom and says, "She put a glazed donut on my d**k."

    Mike comes out of the third bedroom, ho

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Wanda Sykes: Florida Strip Clubs
  • Florida has so many strip clubs, they need to change their state flag to just a brass pole.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Eddie Sarfaty: Confused in High School
  • I had this girlfriend in high school, and we had sex, and at first I thought that was kind of hot... but I knew there was something wrong. I was kind of confused, so I went to see my guidance counselor, and the sex with him was so much better.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Teaching a Buncha Hooligans
  • "From what I just saw, my school days are over!"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Soda Pop
  • The third girl says, "Exactly."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Bring Your Daughter to Work Day
  • "Oh," replies the little girl. "I thought it was because she closes her eyes when you lay her across your desk."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • A little boy wrote to Santa ...
  • One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
    Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Lawyer, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Parachutes for two
  • "Do we have time?"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Thumb Sucking
  • A mom, dad and their two sons watch TV. The dad gives the mom a look, and they head upstairs. The two little boys wonder what they are doing and go upstairs to take a peek.

    "Well," says the older boy, "remember this when mom gets on your case for sucki

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Two Dogs Humping
  • The son says, "It figures -- every time you try to help someone out, you always get screwed."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Little Johnny, Men/Women, Nationality, News & Politics, Pop Culture & Celebrity, School, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Sex Ed
  • “Yes it does,” said Johnny, ” it taught those Indians not to f**k with John Wayne.”

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Dov Davidoff: If Every Other Guy Were Gay
  • I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Greg Fitzsimmons: On Same-Sex Marriage Protestors
  • If you want to stop two people from having sex, let them get married.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Laura Kightlinger: Special Guy
  • I have a man in my life. He is so special. This guy -- he kisses me before we do it.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Tracy Smith: Shaving for a Hot Date
  • I even shaved above the knee for this one, you guys. Woo-hoo! I am feeling saucy now. You ever have somebody talk you into shaving the whole thing off? God, it looks so stupid. I look like a great big naked baby.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Dan Devido: Really Safe Sex
  • We practice safe sex. We practice really safe sex. The other night during sex, we had a fire drill.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • Sue Kolinsky: Changes in Dating
  • Far cry from when our parents got married, huh?... Probably the first time they had sex was on their honeymoon. Boy, times have changed. Not only have I had sex with my boyfriend, so have some of my girlfriends.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Wedding Day Bliss
  • A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face. His best man asks, "Why do you look so excited?"

    The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me."


  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Tony Stone: Married Once
  • I was married at one time -- which is not the same as having sex, but an incredible simulation.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Doug Benson: Recent Break Up
  • Like most comics, I just broke up with my girlfriend... The reason we broke up is because I caught her lying -- under another man.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, Money, Miscellaneous

  • $100 Bill Tattoo
  • He replies, "Three reasons: I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and $100 seems to be the only thing my wife will blow these days."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Scream & Groan
  • A: Let her catch you doing it.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Geoff Keith: Three Requirements
  • I only have three requirements when it comes to girls. Ready? One: are you a girl? Have you always been a girl? And, if not, can you keep a secret?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Doug Stanhope: Sex Is a Narrow Avenue
  • Sex is a very narrow avenue. You only have so many holes and parts, and eventually, you run out of things to do.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Lesbian Dinosaur
  • A: Lickalotopuss.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous

  • Nathan Trenholm: One Night Stand
  • Have you ever had a one night stand that went horribly awry and just turned into this ugly two year relationship?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Money, Miscellaneous

  • Banking & Sex
  • A: You lose interest once you make a withdrawal.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Money, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Wayne Federman: Actress Math
  • Shelia is an actress. She spends $40 three times a week for jazz classes at Alvin Ailey, $20 four times a week for technique classes at Sanford Meisner. How many lap dances at Scores will she have to do this weekend to balance her checkbook?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Money, Miscellaneous, Travel & Car

  • Doug Benson: Seven Days in Las Vegas
  • If you ever go to Las Vegas, and you will, just go for a few days. I was there recently for seven days, seven days in Vegas. After I blew all my money on gambling and prostitution, I had six days to kill.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Money, Miscellaneous, Travel & Car

  • Cheap Trick Payback
  • The prostitute smiles and shouts back, "El syphilis, originale!"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Nationality, News & Politics, Police & Military, Miscellaneous, Travel & Car

  • David Feldman: Vacationing in Amsterdam
  • I was just vacationing in Amsterdam, where prostitution is legal. Let me rephrase that -- I was just vacationing in Amsterdam because prostitution is legal.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • Tatonka
  • "Ground sticky."

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Nationality, Miscellaneous

  • Why Do Scotsmen Wear Kilts?
  • A: Because the sound of zippers scare the sheep away.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • Sex and The Country
  • A Frenchman and an Italianwere seated next to an Englishman on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the menbegan discussing their home lives.

  •   

    Jokes about: Blonde, Dirty, Men/Women, Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • German Woman Takes a Walk
  • She screams, 'Nein! Nein!' so two guys walk away.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Nationality, Miscellaneous

  • Debbie Shea: Sex With a Japanese Man
  • I had sex with a Japanese man once. It was great. He made me origami three times.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Nationality

  • So Cultured!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • Question for a Scotsman
  • "No, lassie," he replies. "Everything is in fine working order."

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • Scott LaRose: Angry T. Rexes
  • The T. Rexes were all angry. You know why? Because these huge muscular creatures with these big muscular legs and these tiny little hands! How would you feel, 60 million years never being able to masturbate? That is the real reason dinosaurs are extinct r

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, News & Politics, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Tattooed Wang
  • "Three reasons:  I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and this way my wife can blow a hundred bucks without leaving the house."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • Politicians & Screwdrivers
  • A: A screwdriver turns in screws; politicians screw interns.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • Woods After Sex
  • Q: What does Tiger Woods say to his wife after having sex?

    A: I will be home in 20 minutes, dear.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • Little Wanky
  • "The truth is," replied the politician, "that she has a big mouth."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, News & Politics, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Lincoln Booty Call... Title
  • You know, they also used to call me "The Great De-pants-inator."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, News & Politics, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Washington Booty Call... Tree
  • I cannot tell a lie. I call this "the cherry tree"... but not because of the fruit.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, News & Politics, Police & Military, Miscellaneous

  • Roman Warrior
  • Q: What do you call a roman warrior after oral sex?

    A: Gladiator.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, News & Politics, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Surprise!
  • After a moment of stunned silence, he replies, "Who is this?"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • Screw The World
  • One wants to screw the world and one already has!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, News & Politics, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • What is Six Inches Long?
  • What is 6 inches long, has a big head, and drives women wild?

    A hundred dollar bill!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, News & Politics, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Washington Booty Call... Minutemen
  • I cannot tell a lie. All those other guys are just Minutemen.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, News & Politics, Miscellaneous

  • Presidential surprise
  • "The handwriting's the first lady's."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Chelsea Handler: Tricky Midget
  • I recently had sex with a midget. Not on purpose -- he was a tricky little f**ker. He kept giving me shot after shot after shot of tequila and would keep getting taller and taller and taller.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Pick-up Line...Squirrels
  • If you and I were squirrels, I could bust a nut in your hole.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Watch and Learn
  • The man exclaims, "Damn - this thing must be an hour fast!"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Stolen Viagra
  • A shipment of Viagra was hijacked on the way to the depot.

    The police have warned the public to be on the lookout for a gang of hardened criminals.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous, Walks into a Bar

  • Walks Into a Bar... Dog Day Afternoon
  • A guy walks into a bar and orders six shooters. The bartender says, "Looks like you are having a bad day."

    The guy says, "Am I ever! I woke up late for work. On my way to work, I got in an accident. When I got to work, I was four hours late, so the bos

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Lightbulbs vs Pregnant Women
  • You can unscrew a lightbulb.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Two Bit Girlfriend
  • "She hit me with her bag of quarters!".

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Dog Talk
  • Finally the Chihuahua says, 'Liver alone -- cheese mine.'

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Partying & Bad Behavior, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Classic Booty Call... Money
  • Would you rather I buy you a drink or just give you the money for it?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Disney World & Viagra
  • A: They both make you wait an hour for a two-minute ride.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Drink Up
  • A: "Men, Viagra now comes in liquid form. You can pour yourselves a real stiff one."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Wendy Liebman: Abstinence
  • The only way to have safe sex is to abstain -- from drinking.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous

  • Viagra and Mr. Clean
  • Q: What happens when you mix Viagra with Mr. Clean?

    A: Rise and shine.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Thruster
  • My thruster is firing as we speak!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Pirate Booty Call... Swaggle
  • Care to horn my swaggle? Yar!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Jock Booty Call... Sweet
  • Hey babe, want to see the sweet spot on my bat? High five!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Scientist Booty Call... DNA
  • Want to go back to my place and exchange some DNA material?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Wavelength
  • You and I appear to be on the same wavelength. If not, I have an adapter for that.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Upgrade
  • My hard drive upgrades every time I look at you.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Contractor Booty Call... Slab
  • Want to take a look at my hung slab?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Viking Booty Call... Longship
  • How many Viking raiders does it take to fill a longship? Just me, if you get my meaning.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Sniffer
  • My sniffer wants to decode your packet.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Zombie Booty Call... Place
  • Want to come back to my place? I can guarantee flowers and privacy.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Corporate Booty Call... Stockholder
  • My stockholder is rallying for a merger.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Librarian Booty Call... System
  • Are you familiar with the Do-Me Decimal System?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... T-Shirt
  • That "Babylon 5" t-shirt looks great on you, but it would look better on my bedroom floor.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Seal
  • Please let me seal off your O-ring.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Superhero Booty Call... Origin
  • My origin? I was bitten by a radioactive porn star.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Contractor Booty Call... Stud
  • I like to think of myself as a nailable stud.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Tears
  • If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you. Of course, I am not capable of crying.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Zombie Booty Call... Get Some
  • How about I get some brain?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Medieval Booty Call... Trick
  • My first trick as a wizard is to make your clothes disappear.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Uranus
  • My mission? A straight shot to Uranus.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Worthy
  • You are worthy of assimilation.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Supervillain Booty Call... Dinner
  • Seeing as no one can save you now, are you free for dinner on Friday? Mwah-hah-hah!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... First Sight
  • Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I roll by again?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Police & Military, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Stealing
  • Although I have not been programmed to break any existing laws, I am a thief and I am here to steal your heart.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Soccer Booty Call... Kick
  • Want to see my banana kick? Goooaaalll!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Zombie Booty Call... Broom
  • You must be a broom, because you just swept me off my feet. And then you swept my feet off.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Alien Booty Call... Take Me to Your Leader
  • Take me to your leader! I hope he lives in your pants.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Soccer Booty Call... Brazil
  • Can I see your Brazilian? Goooaaalll!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Welcome
  • Welcome to the Dork Side.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Clown Booty Call... Wig
  • I wear a wig down there, too. Honk Honk!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Motivational Speaker Booty Call... Grab It
  • Visualize it, then go out and grab it! Yes! Now KEEP grabbing it...

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Loser Booty Call... Smell
  • Wow, you smell good. Maybe I should have showered or something. Yeah, definitely.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • 80s Booty Call... Digital Watch
  • My digital watch has a calculator. How do you like me now?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Zombie Booty Call... The Dead
  • You wanna see the Grateful Dead? Come home with me!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Zombie Booty Call... Eyes
  • I only have eyes for you. Glowing grey, milky, dead eyes.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Pirate Booty Call... X
  • Does X mark YOUR spot? Yar!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Soccer Booty Call... Skills
  • I hear you have good ball handling skills. Goooaaalll!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Corporate Booty Call... Spreadsheet
  • Let me fill your spreadsheet.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Social Activist Booty Call... Fight
  • Can you fight the power... in my pants?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Travel & Car

  • Flight Attendant Booty Call... First Sight
  • Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I push my beverage cart by you again?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Motivational Speaker Booty Call... Steps
  • Step 1: Feel that fire of passion burning in you! Step 2: Now feel mine.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Watch
  • Can I watch while you Google yourself?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Soccer Booty Call... Mouth
  • I would like to approach your goalmouth. Goooaaalll!

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    Jokes about: Dark Humor, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Zombie Booty Call... Body
  • No, you mean over MY dead body!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Motivational Speaker Booty Call... Risks
  • Take risks! Take challenges! Take your clothes off!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Visceral
  • Your appendages are more visceral than ten Dario Argento films.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Superhero Booty Call... Powers
  • My powers include talking to fish and super-lovemaking. Not necessarily in that order.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Travel & Car

  • Airport Security Guard Booty Call... Baggage
  • Wow, you have a lot of baggage. Do you need to unload on me?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Supervillain Booty Call... Path
  • You are just the first step on my path to world domination! Mwah-hah-hah!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Soccer Booty Call... Attacker
  • Can I bring a third attacker along? Goooaaalll!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Superhero Booty Call... Fantastic
  • Want to see my Fantastic Four-skin? Flame on!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Soccer Booty Call... Send
  • Are you gonna let me send it through? Goooaaalll!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Tech Support
  • Can I tinker with your laptop?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Viking Booty Call... Horns
  • The only thing hornier than me is my helmet.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Zombie Booty Call... Genitalia
  • My genitalia fell off, can I borrow yours?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Viking Booty Call... Tundra
  • Hey baby, let me warm your frozen tundra.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Spelling
  • I put the "ass" in astronaut -- assuming that you spell that with an extra S.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Soccer Booty Call... Last
  • All you need to know is that I last for at least 90 minutes. Goooaaalll!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Pirate Booty Call... Smile
  • When I see you smile, my scally wags. Yar!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Motivational Speaker Booty Call... Do It
  • Remember--you can do it! Now, how about starting with me?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Corporate Booty Call... Mail Slot
  • I may have dropped something; I need to feel around in your mail slot.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Monkey Booty Call... Spank
  • How about we spank each other and call ourselves even?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Geek Booty Call... Shorts
  • May my shorts be with you!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • 80s Booty Call... A-Team
  • Call me Dirk Benedict because my Face belongs on your "A-Team."

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Jock Booty Call... Slide
  • Hey babe, you make me wanna slide into third! High five!

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Yeti Booty Call... Sherpas
  • Want to see why the Sherpas call me the Abdominal Showman?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Alien Booty Call... Simulated Atmosphere
  • Would you like to exchange fluids and secretions in a simulated atmosphere?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Soccer Booty Call... Poke
  • How would you feel about a toe poke? Goooaaalll!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Plumber Booty Call... Tailpiece
  • I need to check out your tailpiece.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Hipster Booty Call... Smokes
  • Can I bum a Gauloise off of you?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Supervillain Booty Call... Henchmen
  • Can my burly henchman watch? Mwah-hah-hah!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Viking Booty Call... Red
  • Would you like to meet Erik the Red?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Scientist Booty Call... Trait
  • Your eyes are a deep shade of a recessive genetic trait. I like that.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Corporate Booty Call... Secretary
  • Do you mind if my secretary watches?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Superhero Booty Call... Mild-Mannered
  • My secret identity? Mild-mannered porn star.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Jock Booty Call... Soccer
  • Hey babe, soccer players can go for 90 minutes. High five!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Jock Booty Call... Team
  • You mind if we double team? High five!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Supervillain Booty Call... Lair
  • Come back to my evil lair and prepare to die... in my arms! Mwah-hah-hah!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous

  • Contractor Booty Call... Strength
  • Would you like to test my tensile strength?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Walks
  • I enjoy long walks away from sand and water.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Police & Military, Miscellaneous

  • Jimmy Aleck: Sexual Advances
  • To a woman, sexual harassment is when a man makes advances towards her. Now, if a woman makes advances towards a man, we call that getting lucky.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Craig Shoemaker: Antonio Banderas
  • You know who does it for her? Antonio Banderas. I swear, this guy gets my wife horny. He gets her all wound up. I rent all his movies; he does all the work for me.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Chip Pope: Stadium Seating
  • I love the movies. They finally built one of those stadium-seat porn theaters by my house. So, bring a hat.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Inner Space
  • E.T., the Extra-Testicle!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Smurfette
  • There were five thousand Smurfs, and one Smurfette, and she screwed each one seven times. Enter 5000+1 times 7 in a calculator to see what Smurfette was...

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Three words that describe Britney Spears
  • My computer is like Britney Spears; cheap, white, and plastic.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Toilet Humor
  • One pussy and 1000 hares.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Women and Pool Tables
  • What is the difference between a woman a pool table?

    On the pool table, you put the balls in the hole and the stick stays out.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes

  • Hurricane and the Coconut Tree
  • What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

    Hang on to your nuts here comes one heck of a blow job.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Scientist Booty Call... Shift
  • Did you feel the shifting of tectonic plates a moment ago, or was that just me?

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Why does the TV like the remote?
  • A: Because it turns it on!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Greg Fitzsimmons: Spam
  • At some point, the computer industry decided if you have an e-mail address, you must have some kind of penis problem.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Rooster and a Telephone Pole
  • Q: What do you get when you mix a rooster with a telephone pole?

    A: A 30-foot cock that helps you reach out and touch someone.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Travel & Car

  • Greg Fitzsimmons: Former Porn Star
  • I went to the gas station the other day, and the gas station attendant said he was a former porno movie star. And I think he was serious because half through filling the tank, he pulled it out and sprayed it all over the car.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Travel & Car

  • Stevie Ray Fromstein: In the Hotel Room
  • I was in my hotel room today, middle of the afternoon. I was completely naked, and the maid walks in -- finally!

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Work

  • When Can I Get That Haircut?
  • A shady-looking guy sticks his head into a barbershop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

    The barber looks around the shop and says, "About two hours." The guy smiles and leaves.

    The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Sexual Harrassment
  •     She said, "The man whosaid that was a midget."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Dirty Tricks
  • "I want to see how you are going to live on $800 a year!"

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Hands Under Skirt
  • Q: What do you call a prostitute with her hands under her skirt?

    A: Self-employed.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Bill Dwyer: Circuit City Sex
  • When it comes to sex, I like to refer to my wife as Circuit City because she has no interest until January of next year.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Work

  • Bob Oschack: Tech Advancements
  • No man who has the option to spend his weekends down in a border town whorehouse getting his a**hole tickled is instead going to choose... to lock himself in a laboratory in order to design the ultimate clock.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Travel & Car, Work

  • Vanessa Hollingshead: Middle East Performance
  • I just got back from the Middle East. I performed for 15,000 men -- and then I did my comedy.

  •