Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy's stomach last night?"
"I have to do that, or Daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny."
"That's not going to work."
"Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again."
An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason.
The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?"
The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?"
"No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
Yo Momma So Fat The Only Letters She Knows In The Alphabet Are K.F.C!
Yo momma so fat when she goes camping the bears hide their food.
Yo mama so fat it took nationwide 3 years to get on her side.
Yo mamas so fat that when she stepped on a scale, buzz lightyear came out and said "to infinity and beyond!"
Yo momma so fat when she went to the circus the little girl asked if she could ride the elephant.
Yo Momma is so fat…
That she broke a branch in her family tree!
"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."
Yo mama is so fat that Weight Watchers said I give up.