All the jokes -

Jokes about: Gross

  • Blake Clark: Cousins
  • I never dated my cousin. I slept with her, but I never took her anywhere.

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    Jokes about: Blue Collar, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes, Gross

  • The Toothbrush Salesman
  • "It is s**t. Would you like to buy a toothbrush?"

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    Jokes about: Animal, Blonde, Blue Collar, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Two brunettes and a blonde...
  • And the blonde replies, "Well, I jumped in head first."

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    Jokes about: Blue Collar, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Food for the Hungry
  • "Guess what?" the first guy says, "while you screwed that old hag we found two ears of cream corn!"

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • After 69
  • A: Mouthwash.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Aggie, the Longhorn, and the Goat
  • The Aggie says, “Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?”

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • $10 Complaint
  • When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Richard Jeni: Of Course Men Love Condoms
  • I wish I had a condom on right now at the bar. If only I had a piece of disgusting, greasy rubber just strangling the base of my tallywacker with enough force to cause my eyes to fly out on springs, like someone from a Warner Brothers cartoon, and ripping

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • A Limerick About a Man From Peru
  • And woke with a handful of goo.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, School, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Hold the Mayo
  • Two college roommates are about to go to bed. The guy in the top bunk has his girlfriend sleeping over. To try and keep quiet, they devise a code. His girlfriend will say "tomato" if she wants him to go slower and "lettuce" for him to go faster. As they b

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Mmmmmmmmmm...
  • They're both substitutes for meat.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Elephant Encounter
  • A: Apologize and wipe it off.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Ashes to Ashes
  • Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Pit Bull with Herpes
  • A: The guy who gave it to him.

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    Jokes about: Blonde, Dirty, Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • No Backseat Blonde
  • A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat.

    "No!" yells the blonde.

    Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.

    "For the last time, no!" says the blonde. Fr

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Rocky Mountain Oysters
  • The bull must have drug him a mile!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Sandpaper Sally
  • Sally replies, "Oh, I just picked my scabs."

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Rosebud
  • 'No. If you can show off them rosebuds then I can show off my hanging baskets.'

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    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Gum
  • For somewhere to stash your gum on the way down.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • First Impressions are Everything
  • A: Nothing. They have never met.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Leper and Prostitute
  • A: Keep the tip.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross, Travel & Car

  • Doug Benson: Ever Been Driving Along...
  • Has anybody here ever been driving along in their car, smoking a cigarette, and you flick it out the window, and you drive for a few miles, and you start to smell smoke, and you turn around, and you look in the backseat, and grandma is playing with hersel

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Incest Farm
  • An aunt-eater.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • 80 Pounder
  • Did you hear about the 120-pound guy with the 30-pound testicles?People say he was half-nuts!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Geriatric Halloween
  • 'Yes,' said the old man. 'If you can go out as a sour-puss, I can go out as a dictator."

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Parsley
  • You push it aside to eat, and sometimes it gets stuck between your teeth after meals.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Morning After the Orgy
  • Q: What is worse than waking up the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth?

    A: Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Jungle Gaiety
  • A head hunter!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Midget
  • He got a twat in the face.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Runny Noodle
  • Ian replied, "Pepper."

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Condom Recycling
  • A: Turn it inside out and shake the f**k out of it.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Blue Collar, Gross

  • Belly Button
  • So she can hang an air freshner from it.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Hand-Me-Downs
  • A: "Your jeans fit like a glove."

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    Jokes about: Blonde, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Sex with Leprosy
  • Keep the tip.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Yeast + Billy Ray Cyrus = ?
  • An itchy, twitchy twat!

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    Jokes about: Doctor, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Proctology, For Fun & Profit
  • A brown Probe!

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    Jokes about: Doctor, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Rhoids
  • "Swell."

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Green and Yellow
  • Gonorrhea.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • What do puppies and gynecologists...
  • A: Wet noses.

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    Jokes about: Doctor, Miscellaneous, Gross, Work

  • Geriatric Medicine
  • The woman says, "Well, can I just leave my underwear? Bingo starts in half an hour."

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    Jokes about: Doctor, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Doughboy
  • Q: What do you get when you put Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Doughboy together?

    A: A redhead with a yeast infection.

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    Jokes about: Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Monster Valentine
  • Boy Monster: Is it still beating?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Wayne Federman: Jazz History
  • Jazz: it began in New Orleans and spread like a venereal disease across the United States.

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    Jokes about: Doctor, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Leper Stew
  • Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.

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    Jokes about: Doctor, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Robert Hawkins: Quitting Smoking
  • How did I quit? With willpower and nicotine gum. I recommend the gum if you wanna quit, it helps. The taste? I would rather eat a tobacco plant out of the ass of a pilgrim in front of people.

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    Jokes about: Doctor, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Carmen Lynch: Hard Sneeze
  • Sometimes I sneeze so hard, I get my period a week early.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Doctor, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Gynecologist and a Dog
  • Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?

    A: Wet noses.

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    Jokes about: Doctor, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia?
  • A cancelled Czech!

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    Jokes about: Doctor, Food, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Nick DiPaolo: Keeping the Weight Down
  • You want to keep your weight down? Do what I do and get food poisoning three times a year.

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    Jokes about: Doctor, School, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Corpsalicious!
  • 'Next,' the professor said, 'you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger.'

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    Jokes about: Blonde, Food, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Blonde Waitress Warmer
  • The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."

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    Jokes about: Food, Miscellaneous, Gross, Travel & Car

  • Harland Williams: No Airbag
  • I got no airbag in my old hunk of junk, so this is what I did: I went over to Dunkin Donuts. I bought a great big, puffy, jelly donut. I stuck it to my steering wheel. Some idiot hit me from behind, my head goes forward -- he thinks my head blew up.

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    Jokes about: Food, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Harland Williams: Stuffing the Mattress
  • Did you ever stuff your mattress full of Rice Krispies and then piss the bed? Snap, crackle, pop -- all night long.

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    Jokes about: Food, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Beans & Onions
  • A: Tear gas.

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    Jokes about: God, Miscellaneous, Gross, Work

  • Wrong Kind Of Collection
  • "S**t!" It took the workers two weeks to clean up the church.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Food, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Bob Nickman: Sizzler Cheater
  • Caught my last girlfriend cheating on me. She was at a Sizzler, laying in the all-you-can-eat salad bar.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, God, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Seven Dwarves Go to Rome
  • And the other six start chanting, "Grumpy fucked a penguin! Grumpy fucked a penguin!"

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    Jokes about: God, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Holy Water + Castor Oil
  • Q: What do you get when you mix holy water with castor oil?

    A: A religious movement.

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    Jokes about: God, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • No Revolving Doors
  • A: A nun with a spear through her head.

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    Jokes about: Kids, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Blair Butler: Little Children
  • I love little children, but they are like pinatas full of urine.

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    Jokes about: Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • A Clitoris, an Anniversary and a Toilet
  • A: Men usually miss them.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Flying Condom
  • A: It got pissed off.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Lab Monkeys
  • What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys?

    Rhesus Pieces.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Definition of Agony
  • A: A one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Cannibal Etiquette
  • They gave him the cold shoulder.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Doug Stanhope: Necrophiliacs
  • I sometimes wonder if necrophiliacs are really into dead people or if they just enjoy the quiet.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Well-Endowed Queen
  • A pain in the ass!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Weiner Eater
  • A zipper!

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Jim David: From Within
  • Beauty comes from within -- like gas.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Archeological Gag
  • A: Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.

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    Jokes about: Gross

  • Ben Kronberg: White Castle
  • If White Castle was a real castle, I bet the moat would be made out of diarrhea.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Prune Pizza
  • Pizzeria!

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Tom Segura: It Counts
  • You ever sh*t so big, you tell yourself it counts as exercise?

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    Jokes about: Kids, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Baby Drink
  • A: Stick it in the blender.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • How does herpes leave the hospital?
  • On crotches.

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    Jokes about: Kids, School, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Fishsticks are for Lovahs
  • And the kid replies, “Well, you have a little tarter sauce on your mouth.”

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Interesting Appearance. Not Normal
  • Ugly!

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    Jokes about: Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Maxi Pad to the Fart
  • Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart?

    A: You are the wind beneath my wings.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Spider Diet
  • Burgers and flies.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, School, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Well Endowed and On the Prowl
  • "Moo."

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Science Fiction Porn Titles
  • Planet Of The Babes

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Baldy Pants
  • A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Holding It In
  • A: A private tooter.

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    Jokes about: Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Showers Instead of Baths
  • A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • It's awful scary in these woods, mister!
  • "You're telling me, I have to walk out of them by myself!"

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Men With No Arms or Legs
  • On the floor? Matt.

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    Jokes about: Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Pantyhose
  • Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose?

    A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.

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    Jokes about: Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Why Men Snore
  • Q: Why do men snore when they lie on their backs?

    A: Because when their balls fall over their a**holes, they vapor-lock.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Toothbrush And The Toilet Paper
  • One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says, 'Sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world.' Then the toilet paper yells, "Think again buddy!"

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Butt Cheeks
  • A: "Together, we can stop this s**t."

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Tarzan Sees Elephants
  • Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?

    A: Gulp.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross, Travel & Car

  • Mike Sweeney: Cannibalism After a Crash
  • If you eat someone else in your airplane, do you get all their frequent flyer miles?

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • David Wain: The Perfect Day
  • I just spend the whole afternoon lounging in the pool, farting. The bubbles rising, rising and exploding with the aroma of the fish and meat buffet I gorged on an hour before. And then -- a little teeny-weeny piece of pooh comes out my butt.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Incontinent Vegetarian
  • A salad shooter.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Equal-Opportunity Gas
  • A: So deaf people can enjoy them, too.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Turtle Soup
  • "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging...
  • Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Poor Fly
  • A: His butt.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Perils of Flatulence
  • Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"

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    Jokes about: News & Politics, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Dragging Their Feet
  • The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."

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    Jokes about: Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • A Little Cannibalism Humor
  • Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle the other day?

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    Jokes about: Animal, Marriage, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Sheng Wang: Central Park Carriage Rides
  • Few things make your park experience more romantic than returning to a simpler time when people were totally cool with the smell of horsesh*t wafting by.

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    Jokes about: News & Politics, Police & Military, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes, Gross

  • The Hurt Bird and the S**t
  • The man replied, "You scared the s**t out of the bird."

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Shaking Things Up
  • "How do you turn them off?"

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The worse thing after an orgy
  • Waking up in the morning after after an orgy with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.

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    Jokes about: Gross

  • Smoking Problems
  • Q: What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

    A: Use more lube.

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    Jokes about: Men/Women, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • What, No Golden Goose?
  • A man comes home late one night, drunk.
    "Where have you been?" asks his wife.
    "In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!" This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, who calls the Golden Bar.
    "Do you

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • What is red and green?
  • What is red and green and goes 100 miles an hour?
    A frog in a blender

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • There she blows
  • A: Lots of room.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • An Assortment of Nuts
  • A: A penis in your mouth.

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    Jokes about: Blue Collar, Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Bottom Line
  • Cowboy replies, "No, but it keeps me from licking them."

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Smallest Hotel
  • A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Kids, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • You-Wanna-Do-What-To-Me-Elmo?
  • Bait!

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Happy Birthdead To You
  • A dead puppy!

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Baby Jobs
  • He replies, "So I can beat the hell out of that rude bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us."

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    Jokes about: Blonde, Men/Women, News & Politics, School, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Goverment Wrestling Federation
  • Back

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    Jokes about: Gross

  • Toot Toot Beep Beep
  • A turd honking for the right of way.

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    Jokes about: Gross

  • What is grosser than gross?
  • A pancake that has fallen on the kitchen floor and you are very hungry for a pancake, but when you pick it up you find the gooey syrup and the creamy butter have acted like a kind of flypaper and so your spongey, yummy pancake is covered in lint, dustmite

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    Jokes about: Kids, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Little Johnny Gives to the Sick
  • Just as I got to the front door, I found a box that had a sign on it:  FOR THESICK.'

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Chips and Dip
  • A: Doritos.

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    Jokes about: Blonde, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Brain Fart
  • A: Her ears flap.

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    Jokes about: Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Snobby Tampons
  • Q: What did one tampon say to the other?

    A: Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.

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    Jokes about: Blonde, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross, Travel & Car

  • The Blonde and Car Maintenance
  • A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again.

    "What was the matter?" she asks.

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    Jokes about: Blonde, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Dead Blonde in Closet
  • A: The hide-and-seek champion of 1996.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Wet Cigarettes
  • Q: What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water?

    A: A soggy butt.

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    Jokes about: Nationality, News & Politics, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes, Gross

  • English, Irish & Scottish Football
  • "I support Arsenal," said the Irishman. "But I seem to have lost my appetite."

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    Jokes about: Blonde, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • What do you call a blonde with a dollar ...
  • A: All you can eat under a buck.

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    Jokes about: Money, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Brian Posehn: City Homeless
  • I like any big city. I like any place where you can see a guy with a pants-full of pooh fighting a ghost.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Wizard of Oz
  • The piss, because nobody beats the Wiz!

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Baby Zombies

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Woman from Ealing (Limerick)
  • There was a young lady from Ealing, who had a peculiar feeling.

    She lay on her back, opened her crack and pissed all over the ceiling.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Three Men with Three Wishes
  • The third guy man down the slide yelling, "Wee!"

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    Jokes about: Kids, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Twisted Baby Joke
  • What is more fun that stapeling babies to a wall?
    Ripping them off.

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    Jokes about: Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Star Trek & Toilet Paper
  • A: They both travel around Uranus looking for Klingons.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Taking Out the Garbage
  • A: One dead person in ten trashcans!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Working Up a Sweat with Your Cousin
  • Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin?

    A: Relative humidity.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes, Gross

  • The Vampire
  • 'Sure,' replied God, 'but only once a month.' And he turned the vampire into a maxi pad with wings.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Technology, Gross

  • Ryan Hamilton: Love My Cell Phone
  • I love my cell phone. Not only can I communicate mobile-y, but it sucks all the grease right off my face.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Bravery
  • A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!

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    Jokes about: Insults, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Ben Bailey: Summer NYC Smells
  • You walk one block in Manhattan in July, you smell a hundred different smells that could down a horse.

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    Jokes about: Nationality, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Chilling with Eskimos
  • A. Polaroids.

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    Jokes about: Gross

  • Fetal Attraction
  • A: It uses a stem cell phone.

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    Jokes about: Nationality, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Too Much Tea
  • Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea?

    A: He drowned in his own tea pee.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Kurt Metzger: The Only Animals in All of Nature
  • You know, human beings are the only animal in all of nature that sometimes shoves other animals up their ass.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes, Gross

  • Wacked-Out Restaurant
  • The menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!

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    Jokes about: Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Foot-Long Carrot
  • Her friend answers, "No -- that dirty."

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    Jokes about: Dark Humor, Men/Women, Gross

  • The Hunting Knife
  • His daughter said, "Wow, that bug really had a huge d**k!"

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    Jokes about: Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Margaret Smith: Shake It
  • They shake it at the end, did you know that? If women had penises, we would not shake them -- we would dab.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Rejected Greeting Card -- Sorry
  • I heard my tire thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked at my tire I discovered your cat. Sorry...

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Ray James: Masturbating in the Shower
  • The amazing thing is, when you learn to masturbate in a shower, it only takes a minute before the rest of the team is kicking your ass.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Switched Ends
  • Bob: "Hey, Sue, why is there a tampon hanging out of your mouth?"

    Sue: "Oh my God. What did I do with my cigarette?"

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • A Crappy Trait
  • A: It runs in your genes.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Dog Abilities
  • A: Same reason.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Kids, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Werewolf
  • "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."

  •   

    Jokes about: Kids, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Having to Take a Whisper
  • The father said, 'OK. Here, whisper in my ear.'

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Leper Poker Game
  • Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game?

    A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Grosser Than Gross... Vampires
  • A: Two vampires fighting over a used tampon.

  •   

    Jokes about: Blonde, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Blonde and the Deodorant
  • The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: "To apply, push up bottom."

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, News & Politics, Police & Military, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Three Generals
  • The general said, 'I left them back in Vietnam.'

  •   

    Jokes about: Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • John Caponera: Strong Drinks
  • Some of these drinks will knock you out. I was drinking that Sex on the Beach last night, had about six of them. Woke up this morning with sand in the crack of my ass.

  •   

    Jokes about: News & Politics, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Jeffrey Dahmer Ends the Relationship
  • Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his boyfriend?

    A: He wiped.

  •   

    Jokes about: Money, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Dave Attell: Favorite Apartment Game
  • You know what I like to do on a night like this? Sit in my apartment playing my favorite apartment game: find the smell.

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Drummers & Laxatives
  • A: They irritate the s**t out of everyone.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Two Boots
  • "Hell," says the other man, "help me find my keys and we can drive out."

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Julian McCullough: Public Restroom Fears
  • I went to use the bathroom, and the door to the bathroom, not only was it not locked, it was open a crack. So, I just swung the door open, and my second biggest fear happened: guy right there, 10 inches away, taking a dump. Eye contact, boom. I say my sec

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Rhyming Riddles Are The Best
  • An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • One Clean Joke, Two Dirty Jokes
  • Want to hear another dirty joke? Bubbles was his neighbor.

  •   

    Jokes about: Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Retta: Next for the Bathroom
  • Ladies, have you ever been in the bathroom in a public place or at a party, and there is someone else who wishes to come in next, but instead of politely knocking on the door or gently trying the knob, they attack the door like a rookie DEA agent on his f

  •   

    Jokes about: Kids, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Mommy, Mommy!
  • "Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?"
    "Shut up and eat your corn flakes."

  •   

    Jokes about: Blonde, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Three Girls Go Camping
  • Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, School, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Dan Devido: Fraternity Fish
  • I was gonna join this fraternity, but they make you do crazy stunts, so I had to swallow five live goldfish to join -- and I tried. I swallowed two, and I felt so guilty that I swallowed a pound of pebbles and a little filter and a little man in a scuba s

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes, Gross

  • Leper Hockey
  • Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game?

    A: There was a face-off in the corner.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Big Tongue
  • A: Well hung.

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Very Robust Zacklies
  • "Yeah, your breath smells zacklie like your butt!"

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Amish Life
  • A: A mechanic!

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Fly
  • But a spokesperson for Rudy Guiliani, Mayor of New York, was heard to say, "What do we need with Dutch flies when we have more than enough roaches to piss on?"

  •   

    Jokes about: Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Craig Shoemaker: Circumcision
  • I was circumcised by a band saw.

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Unwanted Compliment
  • Q: What compliment do you NOT want from a midget?

    A: Wow! Your hair smells good!

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Bear & Toilet
  • A: Winnie the Pooh.

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Did you hear....?
  • He drowned in his teepee!

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Desperation of the Undead
  • A: A vampire sucking blood from a sanitary napkin.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Snack Food
  • "Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Legless Cow
  • A: Ground beef.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Star Trek
  • A: They both circle Uranus searching for Klingons.

  •   

    Jokes about: Gross

  • Search & Destroy
  • A: A booger.

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Microwaves
  • A: A baby in a microwave!

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes, Gross

  • Jon Fisch: Fantastic Membership
  • Just joined New York Sports Club, which is fantastic. Now I have a bathroom on every block.

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Shih-Tzu + Poodle
  • A: A Shih-Tzpoo

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • 40 Feet Long and Stinky
  • A: Line dancing at a nursing home.

  •   

    Jokes about: Insults, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Farting Into the Great Beyond
  • Your fart was so loud that astronauts in space mistook it for a message from Houston!

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Growing Old
  • The third old man said, "I can take a crap at 6 a.m. and a piss at 11 a.m. I just wish I could get up before noon."

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • The Day Owl and The Night Cat
  • The cat replies, "He is here!' and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."

  •   

    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Elephant Tampon
  • A: A sheep.

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Grosser Than Gross... Porn
  • A: People who watch it.

  •   

    Jokes about: Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • To Boldly Go...
  • Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise?

    A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.

  •   

    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Tough Ass
  • The guy who gave it to him.

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Talking Out of Your Ass
  • If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • A Prayer Before Dying
  • When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming like the passengers in his car.

  •   

    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Gross

  • Camouflage Clothing
  • He told the crew member, "Get my brown pants."

  •