The only exercise I have done this month... is running out of money. Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body.
I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was"
Google+ is the gym of social networking.
We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon. Just been to the gym and there's a new machine.
Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick.
Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me,
"Come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it."
I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break. What do you do for exercise?
I lift weights.
What do you do for cardio?
I lift weights faster.
I do two hours of cardio every day.
But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym?
A: He was destroying his calves.