Best Gym funny jokes

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  • The only exercise I have done this month... is running out of money.

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  • Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body.
    I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was"

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  • Google+ is the gym of social networking.
    We all join, but nobody actually uses it.

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  • A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.

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  • Just been to the gym and there's a new machine.
    Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick.
    Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!

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  • I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me,
    "Come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it."
    I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.

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  • When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.

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  • What do you do for exercise?
    I lift weights.
    What do you do for cardio?
    I lift weights faster.

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  • I do two hours of cardio every day.
    But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.

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  • Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym?
    A: He was destroying his calves.

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