Best Party funny jokes

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  • I was invited to a party.
    Suddenly I farted when an angry man shouted: "Why do you fart in presence of my wife?"
    I only gazed him for some moments and calmly told him:"Sorry I didn't know it was her turn."
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    fart
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  • Man goes to a fancy dress party wearing only a glass jar on his p*nis.
    Lady asks, "What are you?"
    He says, "I'm a fireman."
    "But you're only wearing a glass jar," says the woman.
    He says, "Exactly, in an emergency, break glass."
    Pull knob and I'll cum as fast as I can!"
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    beauty
    dirty
    party

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  • A girl was a prostitute, but she did not want her grandma to know.
    One day the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and she was among them.
    The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway.
    Suddenly the girl's grandma came by and saw her.
    "Why are you standing in line, dear?" she asked.
    Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, the girl told her that the policemen were passing out free oranges.
    "Why, that is awfully nice of them! I think I'll get some for myself," said the grandma.
    A policeman went down the line, asking for information from all of the prostitutes.
    When he got to Grandma, he exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?"
    Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take out my dentures and suck them dry!"
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    cop
    disgusting
    family
    party
    sex

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  • Three guys compare their levels of intoxication from a party the previous night.
    The first guy says, "Man, I was so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks."
    The second guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I woke up this morning on my front porch."
    The third guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I took a prostitute home to my wife."
    The first guy exclaims, "You guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"
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    disgusting
    dog
    drunk
    party
    wife

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  • Teen Girl to Friend: "For the prom, I'm renting a limo, spending $500 on a new dress and bringing in the best makeup artist in the state to do my hair."
    Teacher who has overheard the conversation: "Wow, that's more than I spent for my wedding!"
    Teen Girl: "Yeah, well you can get married three or four times, but a prom is a once in a lifetime experience."
  • More jokes about ...
    beauty
    money
    party
    teen

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  • A police chief, a fire chief, and a city attorney were traveling together by car to a municipal management conference in a distant city.
    Their car broke down in a rural area, and they were forced to seek shelter for the night at a nearby farmhouse.
    The farmer welcomed them in but cautioned them that there were only two spare beds and that one of them would have to sleep in the barn with the farm animals.
    After a short conference, the police chief agreed to take the barn.
    Shortly after retiring, a knock was heard on the door of the farmhouse.
    The party inside answered to find the police chief standing there, complaining that he could not sleep.
    There were pigs in the barn, he said, and he was reminded of the days when everyone called him a pig.
    The fire chief then volunteered to exchange with the police chief.
    A short time later, another knock was heard at the door.
    The fire chief complained that the cows in the barn reminded him of Mrs. O'Leary's cow that started the Chicago fire, and that every time he started to go to sleep, he started to have a fireman's worst nightmare, that of burning to death.
    The city attorney, in desperation for sleep, then agreed to sleep in the barn.
    This seemed like a good idea until a few minutes later, when another knock was heard at the door.
    When the occupants answered the door, there stood the very indignant cows and pigs.
  • More jokes about ...
    car
    cop
    lawyer
    party
    time

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  • Two monsters went to a Halloween party.
    Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?"
    The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
  • More jokes about ...
    disgusting
    flirt
    Halloween
    party

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  • A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk."
    Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
  • More jokes about ...
    alcohol
    mean
    party
    ugly
    women

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  • Boy: "Do you like parties?"
    Girl: "Yes, why?"
    Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
  • More jokes about ...
    dirty
    flirt
    men
    party
    women

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  • I went to an ISIS birthday party once.
    The musical chairs were a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick.
  • More jokes about ...
    birthday
    music
    party
    terrorist

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