All the jokes -

Jokes about: Technology, nerd, GEEK

  • WINDERS 98
  •     We regret any inconvenience it mayhave caused if you received a copy of the Georgia edition. You may return it to Microsoftfor a replacement version.

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    Jokes about: Dark Humor, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Jeff Ross: Working for Steve Jobs
  • Everybody wanted to work for Steve Jobs -- except his pancreas.

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    Jokes about: Dark Humor, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Bill Gates in Hell
  • Bill Gates goes to purgatory.

    St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go".

    First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women run

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Alphabet
  • If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put "U" and "I" together. And it would stand for "user interface."

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Lips
  • My lips are registered weapons. They shoot deadly laser beams.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Beep
  • At the sound of the beep, I can pleasure you continuously for another 10.4 hours.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... RAM
  • I have a lot of RAM in me. A lot.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Orbit
  • I need you to help me complete an orbit trim maneuver.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Looks
  • You look just like my girlfriend avatar!

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Blogger Booty Call... Offline
  • Will you be my offline permalink?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Ejection
  • Can you help me achieve a coronal mass ejection?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Lost
  • Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes--even though I am programmed with a fully functioning GPS.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Machinery
  • I am a sex machine. No, I mean that literally.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Crater
  • My unit would like to explore your crater.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Calculus
  • I need some help with my calculus. Can you integrate my natural log?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Docking
  • Can I dock my rocket at your space station?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Astrology
  • What is your sign? Mine is "Property of NASA."

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Drop
  • Pardon me, I think I may have dropped something. Oh, it was my jaw! Please reconnect it with these bolts.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Help
  • I need your help--my hard drive needs to be wiped.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Insides
  • Have you ever seen hardware like this before?

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    Jokes about: Dark Humor, Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Angel
  • Am I dead, Angel? Because this must be Heaven. Of course, I am a machine and therefore do not experience death.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Internet
  • Let me show you why they call me... The Webmaster.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Real
  • My intelligence may be artificial, but the attraction is real, baby.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Phaser
  • If you were a phaser, you would be set on "stunning." And I would set mine to "kill" because my own survival is my top priority.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Launch
  • Much like a shuttle launch, my rocket also comes in multiple stages.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Roomba
  • You remind me of a Roomba I used to date years ago. May I sample some of your sucking power for comparison?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Hot
  • Is it hot in here, or is it just me? Wait, that is me. Please remain while I change my coolant.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Better
  • You make me want to become a better automaton.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Off
  • I am feeling a little off today. How about turning me on? The switch is on the back of my neck.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Attraction
  • You must be a magnet, because you are attracting me. Perhaps it is because I am made entirely of metal.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Computer + Prostitute
  • Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with a prostitute?

    A: A f**king know-it-all.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Binary
  • 01101100110100010110011011!

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    Jokes about: Doctor, News & Politics, Police & Military, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Gregg Rogell: Cell Phones vs. Anthrax
  • Cell phones can give you brain tumors, and yet the anthrax only killed five people. Maybe the terrorists should have just called us on our cell phones.

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    Jokes about: Doctor, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Assembly Required
  • When they were handed out, he did a double take at the 150% grade he received.Rather confused, he asked his instructors how it was possible to have a grade like this. "It is really quite simple," they said. "We gave you 50% for correctly disassembling the

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Doctor, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Upgrade for E.D.
  • Q: Did you hear about the new computer upgrade for erectile dysfunction?

    A: It turns your 3.5" floppy into a hard drive.

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    Jokes about: God, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Jesus and Satan are having a conversation...
  • God shrugged and said, "Jesus saves."

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    Jokes about: God, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Richard Lewis: Jewish Satellite Dish
  • My grandparents had a satellite dish. They were the first ones, like, in 1961. It was like a Jewish one: it picked up problems from other families.

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    Jokes about: God, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • E-vil
  • It reads, "Welcome to www.Purgatory.com. Please enter your User ID and Password to continue..."

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Technology, Gross

  • Ryan Hamilton: Love My Cell Phone
  • I love my cell phone. Not only can I communicate mobile-y, but it sucks all the grease right off my face.

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    Jokes about: Insults, Men/Women, School, Miscellaneous, Technology, Work

  • The Mathematics of Love
  • Smart man + smart woman = romance

    Smart man + dumb woman = affair

    Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

    Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

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    Jokes about: Insults, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • JB Smoove: Sound System
  • I did a club one night -- the speakers were old as hell. My jokes were coming out in black and white.

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    Jokes about: Blonde, Insults, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Technology, Work

  • Tardy Blonde
  • Q: Why was the blonde late for work?

    A: She was stranded on the broken escalator.

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    Jokes about: Kids, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • A Joke of Genius
  • A: Do these genes make my butt look fat.

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    Jokes about: Lawyer, Miscellaneous, Technology, Work

  • The Test
  • A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test.

    The engineer went in first and was asked, ''What is 2+2?'' The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, ''4.''

    Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the sa

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    Jokes about: Blonde, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Laptop
  • The blonde operates on more laptops!

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    Jokes about: Blonde, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Blond with a cell phone
  • She replied, "Great...but how did you know I was at Wal-mart?"

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Computer Chat
  • 010101101010101010101

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    Jokes about: Animal, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Gorilla and Computer
  • Q: What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a computer?

    A: Hairy Reasoner.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Hypertext is Funny!
  • Why do they call it hyper text?
    Too much JAVA.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Antennas
  • The ceremony was long and boring, but the reception was great!

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    Jokes about: Money, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Charlie Viracola: Cell Phone Minutes
  • I trick them during the day. I hide in a dark closet and make all my calls.

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    Jokes about: News & Politics, Miscellaneous, Technology, Work

  • Microsoft and a Halter Top
  • Both offer very little support!

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    Jokes about: News & Politics, Miscellaneous, Technology, Work

  • Bill Gates and General Motors
  • Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.

    "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top spee

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    Jokes about: Partying & Bad Behavior, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Shane Mauss: Magic Mushrooms
  • I took them one time. I apparently had way too many. I was walking around outside. I ended up wandering into a Best Buy because I thought it was the future. And then I unknowingly ended up in the camcorder department and I saw in one of the TVs what I tho

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Scientist Booty Call... DNA
  • Want to go back to my place and exchange some DNA material?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Wavelength
  • You and I appear to be on the same wavelength. If not, I have an adapter for that.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Upgrade
  • My hard drive upgrades every time I look at you.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Sniffer
  • My sniffer wants to decode your packet.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Tears
  • If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you. Of course, I am not capable of crying.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Astronaut Booty Call... Uranus
  • My mission? A straight shot to Uranus.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... First Sight
  • Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I roll by again?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Police & Military, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Stealing
  • Although I have not been programmed to break any existing laws, I am a thief and I am here to steal your heart.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Watch
  • Can I watch while you Google yourself?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Geek Booty Call... Tech Support
  • Can I tinker with your laptop?

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Scientist Booty Call... Trait
  • Your eyes are a deep shade of a recessive genetic trait. I like that.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Robot Booty Call... Walks
  • I enjoy long walks away from sand and water.

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    Jokes about: Dark Humor, Police & Military, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • What We Learn From the Movies
  • -- It is always possible to park directly in front of any building you are visiting.
    -- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
    -- If you start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
    -- Mo

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    Jokes about: Police & Military, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Warren Thomas: Outlawed Clones
  • When clones are outlawed, only outlaws will have clones.

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    Jokes about: Technology, Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous

  • Natasha Leggero: Dad and the Internet
  • My dad discovered the Internet. Uh, just because someone raised you, does not mean that you have to add them on Facebook.

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    Jokes about: School, Miscellaneous, Sports & Athletes, Technology

  • Jock vs. Nerd
  • $$$ Game over.  Nerd wins.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Pick-Up Lines, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Scientist Booty Call... Shift
  • Did you feel the shifting of tectonic plates a moment ago, or was that just me?

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    Jokes about: Money, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Rob Stapleton: Messed Up Credit
  • You know your credit messed up when you get turned down for a pre-paid phone.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Why does the TV like the remote?
  • A: Because it turns it on!

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Microsoft Darkness
  • None, they would just declare darkness the new standard TM

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    Jokes about: Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • First Computer in Biblical Times
  • Eve -- she had an Apple in one hand and a Wang in the other!

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Technology, Work

  • IBM and Lightbulbs
  • 10,000: one to hold up the light bulb, and 9,999 to turn the building around.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • An elderly lady phoned her telephone company
  • Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing andmoaning.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Baby Digital Watch
  • Q: What did the baby digital watch say to the mommy analog watch?

    A: "Look Ma, no hands!"

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Leo Allen: New Computer
  • It had been a long time since I got a new computer -- a really long time. It was so nice to be able to throw those punch cards away and to have that giant room free again.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Technology, Travel & Car

  • Dane Cook: In the Year 3000
  • In the year 3000, everything will be instant... but the DMV will still take, like, nine f**king seconds.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Technology, Work

  • A Horoscope For The Workplace
  • CUSTOMER SERVICE: Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As a child very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service."

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    Jokes about: Pop Culture & Celebrity, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Daniel Tosh: National Anthem
  • The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod?

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    Jokes about: Dark Humor, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Jeff Ross: Steve Jobs Funeral
  • They put him in this really expensive coffin, then they paid extra for a plastic case to protect it from scratches.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Tech Glossary
  • System Update: A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.

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    Jokes about: Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Greg Fitzsimmons: Spam
  • At some point, the computer industry decided if you have an e-mail address, you must have some kind of penis problem.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Mathematical Cows
  • Q: How do cows do mathematics?

    A: They use a cow-culator.

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    Jokes about: Animal, Dirty, Men/Women, Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Rooster and a Telephone Pole
  • Q: What do you get when you mix a rooster with a telephone pole?

    A: A 30-foot cock that helps you reach out and touch someone.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Amuse-o-tron
  • As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Programming %#$*@#!!
  • Profanity

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Technology

  • Mark Cohen: Expensive Water Filter
  • I bought a real expensive water filter, but it works too good. I just get hydrogen.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Technology, Travel & Car

  • Charlie Viracola: License Plate Number
  • Your cell phone number [should] be the same as your license plate number, so if you drive like a jackass, we can call you up.

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    Jokes about: Miscellaneous, Technology, Travel & Car

  • Cory Kahaney: Burned by MapQuest
  • How much does MapQuest suck? I got so burned by MapQuest. Last weekend, just for the hell of it, I typed in my address, 76th Street, and that I wanted to go to 77th Street. MapQuest told me to get on the Garden State Parkway.

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