The salesman is using sex to sell me a CD player, giving me pressure about my love life. 'Mr. Mercurio, it's a five CD player carousel model. You load all five of your CDs into this baby -- you're with your woman, you're gonna make love -- you press "Play," you can go all night.' And I'm like, 'You know, Mr. Salesman, I'm not really a five CD man. You got something that plays 45s? Give me two minutes -- I'll give you the world.'
-- You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.-- You have a list of 20 phone numbers to reach five people.-- You chat several times a day with a Nigerian prince over e-mail, but you couldn't name your neighbor.-- When paying a cashier, you only know how to respond to "credit or debit" -- what the hell is "cash"?-- You think "music in the air" refers to free downloads.-- You lose touch with any family member who doesn't have an email address.-- Second-day delivery takes way too long.-- You need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.- A "half day" means leaving at 5 p.m.-- You find jokes on computers, not in books or word of mouth.