Besttit Ugly funny jokes

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  • An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason.
    The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?"
    The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?"
    "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
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    fat
    kids
    stupid
    ugly
    women

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  • Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
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    insulting
    ugly
    Yo mama

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  • A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror…
    She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible;
    I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.”
    The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
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    age
    men
    ugly

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  • "Siri, why am I still single?"
    Siri activates front camera.
  • More jokes about ...
    insulting
    single
    technology
    ugly

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  • Yo mama so ugly, even hello kitty said goodbye.
  • More jokes about ...
    insulting
    kitty
    ugly
    Yo mama

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  • I'm not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween, she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.
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    food
    Halloween
    ugly
    wife

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  • A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk."
    Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
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    alcohol
    mean
    party
    ugly
    women

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  • A guy goes into this bar, sits down and orders a drink.
    While waiting, he sees a guy sitting at the bar who has a very big muscular body but a little tiny head.
    So, he asks the guy, "How is it that you have such a huge body and a small head?"
    The guy replied, "I was walking along the beach one day and I came across this bottle buried halfway in the sand. So I picked it up, brushed away the sand, and out popped this fine female genie. She said she would grant me three wishes for releasing her."
    "For my first wish, I asked for ten-million dollars, and POOF right there on the sand was $10,000,00."
    "For my second wish, I asked for a luxury yacht, and POOF right there on the ocean was a 90-foot yacht."
    "Finally for my third wish, I asked to have sex with the genie, but she said that genies were not allowed to indulge in that kind of activities."
    So, I said, "c'mon, how about a little head?"
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    bar
    genie
    money
    sex
    ugly

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  • Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her for Halloween!
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    Halloween
    insulting
    ugly
    Yo mama

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  • "Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!"
    The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..."
  • More jokes about ...
    insulting
    kids
    ugly
    vulgar

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